


The Cosmic Powers Over This Present Darkness

by GhostOfTasslehoff, ZombieJesus



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Blackmail, Dirty Talk, Gabriel has a racy secret, M/M, More tags to be added, Mutual Pining, Rating will change, Slow Burn, Temptation, True Forms, Wing Kink, a love of antiquity, and then wildfire, dramatic antics, geez these two are so in love and can't stand it, moving the Heavens to be together, not very demonic behavior, nothing like drowning your troubles with your ‘best friend’, plotty romance, quirk and whimsy, schemes and plotting, set in the Good Omens universe, supernatural sex, unangelic activities, with Death Note elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-06 06:09:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20502185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfTasslehoff/pseuds/GhostOfTasslehoff, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/ZombieJesus
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley are trying to navigate the post-Apocalypse and figure out where they stand in terms of their nebulous ‘relationship’, currently forbidden by Heaven and Hell, while suffering the indignity of being stripped of their names until they redeem themselves. A revelation by Beelzebub presents an interesting opportunity to blackmail the angel Gabriel for mutual benefit, but can they really get away with it?





	1. Flies in the Vaseline

**Author's Note:**

> Ephesians 6:12
> 
> For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Aziraphale and Crowley have received letters about their ‘probation,’ and Beezlebub appears in Aziraphale’s shop to inadvertently present an opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Aziraphale and Crowley are stripped of their ‘official’ names, they must call each other by another name of their choosing, but still think of each other by their real names.
> 
> Ghost is writing for Arizaphale/L and ZJ is writing for Crowley/B.

Crowley-- or the demon _ formerly _ known as Crowley prior to the averted apocalypse-- adjusted his new Ferragamo’s as he sauntered from his parked Bentley to the front door of A.Z. Fell and Co. It was a gorgeous afternoon, the world wasn’t combusting in hellfire, and while they were both technically _ personas non grata _ in their respective realms, both had walked away from the whole messy business of the non-Apocalypse with little more than slaps on their hands. After all, God had remained characteristically silent as to whether their impulsive actions had been part of Her ineffable plan, so really, neither Heaven nor Hell could take an official stance on what should be done with them now. The fact that both had somehow survived their respective punishments was taken to mean that perhaps God did _ not _ want them punished at all. 

That didn’t mean they’d gotten away with everything though. Both Gabriel and Beezlebub had their own little ways of exerting their irritating authority.

In the eyes of most of Hell, Crowley was now a killjoy anti-warmonger and a rather ineffectual temptation demon besides. Namely, a disgrace unworthy of his prior demon name, which had been stripped from the Grimoire of Names in his absence. He’d just received the missive an hour earlier with the news, and Crowley had been (and still was) irate, speeding over with the letter in his hand and flicking cars out of his way as he’d ranted loudly to himself. _ Blast this nonsense, how dare they do this to me?! _

He’s gotten to Aziraphale’s shop in record time, still grumbling under his breath, when he heard a shout behind him from the curb.

“Oi! What happened to my car! It was parked right there!” 

The demon turned and let his sunglasses slide down his nose, sizing up the large man staring with a bewildered expression at the shiny black Bently parked in front of the shop. “Oh?” _ Ugh, I don’t have time for this. _ If Crowley had been in a better mood, he might have just moved the car down a few spaces, but he wasn’t, so instead it was somewhere orbiting Alpha Centauri. “Can’t say chap. Space was empty when I pulled in.” Well, that last part _ was _ true. He grabbed the doorknob when he felt a hand on his shoulder. _ Oh you really didn’t just touch me. _

“No, I KNOW it was there! I only popped into the tobacco shop a moment ago…”

The demon sighed, picking up the hand on his shoulder and tossing it away with little effort. His snake eyes glowed brightly behind his sunglasses as he turned to the man, noting the name floating above his head along with a string of numbers. _ And of course you’re Percy Rigsby, destined to live a nice long life. The annoying ones always do. _Using just a smidge of hypnosis, “I believe it must have been towed. What a pity.”

Percy teetered and locked in place, a blank look on his face (after the horrified one from seeing those snake eyes passed). “Yes….towed away.”

“Now be a good fellow and run along home.” The demon snapped his fingers and a cab pulled up, which Percy got into with no hesitation. He gave a smug little wave, “Ciao,” before finally opening the door to Aziraphale’s shop. 

\---

It had been an unusually slow day in the shop. Part of that could have been attributed simply to the fact that summer was winding down, and the late afternoon weather was uncommonly sunny, so most folks who _ would _ normally frequent the dusty little bookshop were out having picnics, or going to the countryside, or otherwise taking advantage of the lovely weather to take mini-vacations. Or perhaps most of it was better blamed on the foul mood the owner had been in for most of the day.

The angel formerly known as Aziraphale, now going simply by ‘L’ due to the unfortunate news he had received that morning, was currently curled up on a cushion in the window of his shop, reading one of the new books on display to try and cheer himself up, his dark, messy hair falling in his eyes as he sipped at his tea. The distraction wasn’t working today. His mind kept returning to the encounter from this morning; he had been particularly miffed to see Gabriel’s smug face _first thing,_ before he had even been able to properly enjoy a nice cup of coffee, and to top it off? Heaven had put Aziraphale on _probation_ (not that that really meant anything except he wasn’t invited to Gabriel’s poker nights anymore) and he was forbidden to use his name. The penalty for not abiding by the rules was being docked a minor miracle, and Aziraphale was already dreadfully short on those._ That letter doesn’t even tell me how I’m supposed to earn my name back. Absolutely ridiculous. So much for leaving us alone_.

Reaching the end of the story, Aziraphale sighed discontentedly as he closed the book, stretching lazily as he set aside his teacup and strode over to return the book to its rightful place. The only thing that would make his day better would be an appearance by his favourite demon, but as he _ rarely _ knew when to expect said demon, he would content himself with shooting off another email to Anathema. _ Surely she will give up what’s left of Agnes’ prophecies now that everything has been fulfilled_, he thought, idly biting at his thumbnail as he frowned at the screen. She kept pushing him off with vague excuses of needing to reconstruct the prophecies from her notes, but really, he just thought that she was having too much fun living her life with Newt nowadays. (_And why not? _)

> _ “Hello Anathema! _
> 
> _ Me again. I would like to reiterate and stress heavily that I really don’t MIND if the original book is restored, I will gladly take it as is. I just want to display it in my shop. As a… memorial piece, so to speak. A reminder of what we went through, of what we all achieved. A thank you of sorts to Agnes. That’s all. I’m only emailing again because I haven’t heard anything from you all weekend. Please let me know soon. _
> 
> _ All my best (and I hope you all are getting the same lovely weather we have today!) _
> 
> _ L (formerly Aziraphale, it’s a long story, please don’t ask…)” _

The bell above the door jingled just as Aziraphale was hitting send, and he leaned out from behind the computer to peer up to the front.

Crowley entered with a dramatic huff, shaking the letter in his hand as he approached Aziraphale’s desk. Luckily there were no customers about, but the demon wasn’t paying any attention to that. “Did you get one of these blasted things, too?” He slammed the letter down on the desk, pointing to it with a long black-polished nail. “Those ungrateful bastards. If it wasn’t for us, Hell would be knee-deep in Holy Water and Heaven would be a bacchanalia!” He cackled at that mental image as he lounged on a velvet settee, sprawling out like he owned the place.

Blinking at the sight of Crowley bearing down on him, Aziraphale half rose to greet him, only to sit back down hard. He bit his lip to stifle a laugh, lips twitching up in a small smile at the demon’s antics. “Well, hello to _ you _ , too.” _ Same old dramatics _ , he thought, skimming through the letter quickly. “I did,” he confirmed, turning his gaze back to his friend and finally letting himself smile fully, mouth going a little dry and stomach flipping at that mental image… and the way Crowley-- well, _ not _ Crowley anymore, clearly-- always looked so _ natural _ sprawled all over his furniture. He averted his eyes quickly, pushing the long-familiar ache aside in favour of reaching into the top drawer of his desk and pulling out his _ own _ letter, holding it out for the demon to read.

“At least it’s both of us then. Misery loves company.” Crowley took the letter from Aziraphale, but dropped it to the floor with a yelp. “Ow! Consecrated paper?!” He glared at it and then craned his neck to read the flowing golden script. “Docking you a minor miracle if you use your old name? My side threatened me with being recalled from Earth if I didn’t comply. As if they had anyone _ else _ to send down here who wouldn’t be immediately _ obvious _.”

Aziraphale cringed, picking the letter up with a soft apology. Standing, he went to retrieve his teacup and retreated into his kitchen to put it in the sink, only making a quick detour to the fridge before emerging back into the shop with two plates of strawberry shortcake. Passing one off to the demon, a small huff left him before he said, “Utterly ridiculous if you ask me. It isn’t like _ upper management _ gave us our names.” The smile was gone now, replaced with an unamused expression bordering on rude as he leaned back against his desk, taking a small bite of cake before jabbing the fork towards the ceiling, speaking with his mouth full. “But She hasn’t come down on them for doing it, either.”

The demon pouted as he leaned up to take the plate of cake, stabbing a fork into it vindictively. “I don’t even see the point of it. Wasn’t like we were giving out our real names all over the damn place down here.” He shoved the bite of cake into his mouth as he parodied Hastur’s deadpan voice and expression, “Can’t have you being mistaken for a real demon, No-Name.” He rolled his yellow eyes behind his sunglasses. “I just know it was Hastur’s idea, pompous ass. Always sucking up to Beez and saying my brilliant ideas aren’t very evil. Hmph!” 

Crowley’s impression of the Duke of Hell made Aziraphale giggle around a mouthful of cake, slipping down to settle into his chair again and curling his long legs up underneath him as he rolled his eyes. 

The treat was cheering Crowley up but really it was just seeing his friend that was doing wonders for his mood, not that he’d admit it. Aziraphale looked quite nice today, not that he ever _ didn’t_, but the demon tried not to let himself focus on that lest his natural forte of temptation took over and...well, that wouldn’t be prudent. _ I’ve sucked it up for 6000 years, I can keep on going until the End Times. _

But...was _ this _ the End Times? Not making his long-buried feelings known had become quite a lot harder when Hell and Heaven started paying less attention to their actions, not wanting to even fully recognize their standing anymore. _ Wrote us off as lost causes not worth fussing over? _ Still, he knew the price would be heavy for the angel if anything _ carnal _ occured. For him, well, they’d probably throw him a party in Hell for seducing an angel and prompting them to Fall. Welcome him back as a temptation demon of legend! But the repercussions would be much more serious for Aziraphale. He’d probably be cast out or worse, and the demon couldn’t live with himself if that happened.

Crowley ate a few more bites, looking up to Aziraphale with hint of a grin, “This is damn good, angel. I hope you _ actually _ baked it and didn’t go over your minor miracle allowance again.” He chuckled as he devoured the rest and set the empty plate aside on the coffee table with a weary sigh. 

Aziraphale nearly choked on the cake at Crowley’s teasing, and he had to set his plate aside, flapping his hands a bit to wave away the coughing fit. “Excuse _ you_,” he said loftily, giving the demon a red-faced grin and primly taking his plate back. In the absence of a witty retort, Aziraphale shrugged and explained, voice petulant, “Gabriel delivered the news _ personally_. Accosted me before I had even got the chance to have _ breakfast_. Seemed to take a great deal of satisfaction from seeing my shock, too.” Another bite, “Can you _ really _ blame me for minor miracle indulgence after seeing his smug face first thing in the morning?”

A quick glance upwards, and then Aziraphale was shaking his head, taking another bite and cocking his head curiously. This hadn’t been what he’d been hoping for from the demon’s arrival, but he really _ shouldn’t _ have been surprised, all things considered. “Did you _ really _ come all the way over here just to ask me about this? Or have you noticed any other _ restrictions _ yet? I’ll admit, I’ve kept any supernatural inclinations to a bare minimum today, just in case.” _ Well, minor miracle cake aside. _ If upper management was going to tell him he had to _ earn back _ his bloody name, he was _ damn _ well going to be self-indulgent for a little while.

“Restrictions?” The demon took off his sunglasses and folded them into the pocket of his black vest, rubbing his temples. “No. If anything I’m _ supposed _ to be..,” he used air-quotes and mimicked Beezlebub’s deadpan tone, “... ‘upping my demonic game’ if I want my real name and any kind of respect returned.” 

A genuine smile split Aziraphale’s face at seeing the glasses go into a pocket, and he could feel the telltale heat that said he was blushing even _ more _ as he watched Crowley’s changing expressions greedily. The urge to go join the demon on the couch was strong, and really, there was nothing _ stopping _ him. Nothing but his own uncertainty on whether or not Crowley felt the same way _ he _ did. _ Best friend. He called me his best friend. _ As sweet as it had been to hear that when he’d been… well, _ incorporeal _ … _ Best friend is not what I want… _

Crowley flopped back on the couch, shooting the angel an evil little grin. “At least my hypnosis and telekinetic powers are on point. But really,” He gave a demonic approximation of puppy-dog eyes and stuck out his lip, “do I need a reason to come over now? Don’t want to be fraternizing with my kind anymore?” He was teasing, clearly, but he had wondered what would become of their friendship now. “Waaaaaait. Did that prick Gabriel forbid you from talking to me anymore?” 

Straightening from his slump, Aziraphale’s mouth fell open, eyes widening in surprise before blurting out, “Why would you-” He frowned, pouting. “Of _ course _ I still want to spend time with you, Crowley. It’s not like Gabriel _ can _ forbid me from talking to you.” _ And even if he COULD, I still would. _ “Besides, who would I share my favourite treats with?” 

“Careful, angel, using _ my _ real name may get you in trouble too, ugh.” The demon grinned at the angel’s indignant response, “Anyway, I was only teasing. Why _ wouldn’t _ you want to spend time with the most interesting and handsome demon on Earth?” He was covering up his own slight insecurity that Aziraphale might get fed up with him one day. “Your treats are most appreciated but it’s the company I come around to see, angel.” _ Oh, don’t I just sound like a stupid sap. _

_ Oh crap, I hadn’t even thought of that_, Aziraphale thought, looking down at his now empty plate, feeling the heat flaring in his cheeks once more at Crowley’s boasting. _ And interesting and handsome doesn’t even BEGIN to cover what you are. _ He cleared his throat, not even bothering to suppress the pleased smile that made its way onto his face at the compliment. “Well, what am I _ supposed _ to call you, then? Why not dear? Love?” A smirk quirked at his lips for a split second before his expression fell again, pensive and more than a little defiant. “I suppose the missive _ was _ meant to whip me into Heavenly shape. Honestly, if they’re giving me an ultimatum, I can go without my Name for a little while. Might as well _ be _ a little bad if they’re going to punish me anyway. I’ve… decided to just go by ‘L’.” _ I will NOT go by Zira. _

_ Love?! _ Crowley sputtered a cough to cover his embarrassment at how much he _ would _ like to be called that, quickly changing the subject. “L, is it? What a pain in the arse, but I suppose one name is as good as the next. I’ll get used to it. Hardly changes what we _ are _.” ‘L’ would be easy enough to remember, it still sounded similar since the angel often shortened his name to humans as Mr. Fell. “Guess I’ll have to play along too then…”

A crack of fire and smoke filled the room. “You certainly will, No-Name.” Beelzebub swatted at the cloud of flies buzzing around her head as she strode through the yellow sulfurous clouds billowing at her feet. 

Aziraphale was just unfurling from the chair, getting ready to respond to Crowley when the nauseating smell of sulfur filled the room, and he had to wave a hand in front of him to clear the smoke, coughing and glaring at the diminutive demon stopping beside Crowley’s lounging form. _ Great. _

Beelzebub had a smug expression on her face as she stood close to Crowley, who wasn’t getting up from his lounging position. “I see your manners in front of your superiors are as _ bad _ as ever.”

“Would you expect any less, Beez?” Crowley frowned as a fly landed on him, disintegrating it with a look. “I’m a demon. I’m _ supposed _ to be bad.”

“Which begs the question of what you’re doing _ here _.” Beelzebub cast a side-long look around the room, settling on Aziraphale for a moment before flipping out the tails of her long ratty coat and sitting down in an overstuffed chair. The chair instantly seethed with corruption, maggots wriggling out from the stuffing and falling to the ground. “Keep such company isn’t helping your cause.”

Aziraphale’s expression went completely flat; the disrespect she was showing both him _ and _ Crowley was obvious, and it was clear that she was trying to get a rise out of one or both of them. “Was that _ really _ necessary, Beelzebub?” he demanded coldly, standing to his full height and staring down at her impassively. A disgusted scowl flitted across his face when that seemed to have little effect on her. _ Great, now I’m going to have to replace that chair. _

Sarcastically, “Oh, _ do _ make yourself at home.” Crowley grimaced at her but reluctantly sat up, waving a hand to place a plastic mat beneath her chair and spare the rug. “What business of yours is it what company I keep? Why just on my way here I caused no less than 5 minor inconveniences, 3 major annoyances, and some poor fellow’s car is now halfway across the Milky Way.” 

Beelzebub looked less than impressed. “That so.” Some flies buzzed over to their empty cake plates but got caught in a strip of flypaper that suddenly appeared.

The sudden appearance of the plastic mat atop his rug had Aziraphale gaping, and he looked over at Crowley again, acutely aware of the heartbeats he really didn’t need hammering in his chest at the unconscious nature of the considerate gestures. _ I… didn’t even ask_. It didn’t even bother him today that his friend was blatantly bragging about the mischief he’d caused, because it always seemed to be balanced out by how Crowley was around _ him_. Whatever he had been about to say to Beelzebub vanished in a soft look, and he busied himself instead with gathering up the plates and hurrying off to deposit the dishes in the kitchen sink, hoping that neither demon had noticed his sudden elated fumbling.

Crowley sighed, “Why are you here, Beez? Is this about that damned letter?”

Beelzebub nodded, catching the letter which floated over from Aziraphale’s desk into her hand. “You were to pick a new name and write it on the line right away. Quit being a brat and dragging your feet and do it already Cro--No-name! Then I can get back to my much more important work in the Congo.”

“Ebola, again, hmm? Doesn’t that ever get tiresome?” Crowley rolled his eyes and snatched the letter, a pen appearing in his hand. He tapped it on the coffee table as if thinking, casting a little smile Aziraphale’s way. “I was thinking….Beelzebub had a nice ring to it! Summons up a certain--”

“CROWLEY!!!” Beelzebub’s eyes smoldered and the air around them crackled with her irritation. 

Leaning against the doorframe, Aziraphale watched as Crowley conjured up a pen, unable to stifle his delighted giggling over Crowley’s continued sass towards the Lord of the Flies, herself. “Having a hard time with the name thing, are you, _ Beez _ ?” He gave Beelzebub a knowing smirk, gaze flickering warmly to Crowley for just a moment before shifting back to her. More laughter poured out of him at her anger, though the volatile crackling in the air worried him slightly. Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, pointing at her, “Now now! As a guest in my shop-” _ Uninvited though you might be… _ “- I must _ insist _ that you keep your temper in check. And _ no _ burning the place down, or I _ will _ take it out of your hide.”

“Alright! Alright...although it hardly seems necessary if you’re just going to still call me…” Crowley trailed off as he could nearly _ see _ Beelzebub losing her patience. He bit his lip to keep from snickering when Aziraphale called her _ Beez_, and wondered again why the show-runners of both Hell and Heaven were such tiresome prats. “Well...how about just B. Nothing offensive about that, is there?” He knew it would still grate on her _ why _ he was choosing B, which was a small victory.

Beelzebub growled, “Fine. Write it down already.” She just wanted to be done with this task as soon as possible since she was expecting a _ certain call _ any minute. 

As Aziraphale watched Crowley-- _ no, B. Was that my influence? _ \-- write down his new, chosen ‘name’, he had to bite his lip. “There… he’s done what you asked.” Stepping forward again, he briefly touched Crowley’s shoulder before dropping his hand into his pocket. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need Cro- _ B’s _ help, and _ you _ need to leave.” _ You have NO idea how much I wish I had some holy water for you right now, Beelzebub. _

“Aren’t angels _ supposed _to be full of sunshine and all that cheery shit?” Beelzebub shot Aziraphale a scowl at his sassy comments, and the large squat blowfly which perched atop her head like a hideous hat crawled up her forehead to look at him too. “Gah! Stay put you!” 

“Oh, my apologies,” Aziraphale said with a roll of his eyes, snapping his fingers once Beelzebub had abandoned the chair and sending it elsewhere. _ As long as it’s out of HERE… _ “After being told I’m on _ probation_, I’m all sunshined out, your Royal Bugginess.”

Beelzebub pushed her blowfly hat back into place, taking the letter from ‘B’ and shoving it into her filthy overcoat with a muttered, “What a stupid name.”

“Not your name to worry about, is it?” The demon now dubbed ‘B’ stood up, giving her a nod when she rose as well. He let out a long breath at that brief touch from Aziraphale behind him. With an affected cordial tone, “Give my best to the Man Downstairs, won’t you? Oh, wait, you can’t, he’s _ dead _.” 

Beelzebub sat up straight and was about to snap at him, when music filled the shop.

Crowley looked at her quizzically as he heard her phone’s ringtone, finally barking out a laugh. “Didn’t know you were an STP fan, Beez. Not your Hell-issued tone, is it now?” He should know-- he was constantly deleting those bimonthly and switching it back to his beloved Queen.

“Oh, can it. Before his...accident, Satan was in his Bieber phase again and if I hear ‘Baby’ one more time I might restart the Apocalypse.” 

Quirking one thin eyebrow up, Aziraphale shot Crowley a questioning look, mouthing ‘_Bieber? _ ’ with barely concealed amusement. It wasn’t like he had much room to laugh at their plight, he’d had _ quite _ enough of ELO to last him another millennia, but he hadn’t pegged the Lord of Darkness for a Bieber fan. 

Beelzebub patted her pockets until she pulled out her phone. She’d missed the call but she went beet-red as she checked the caller, flustered enough not to notice Crowley phasing behind her to take a peek.

“Now why would Gabriel of all people be calling you?” Crowley phased to a safe distance as she whirled around, knocking her blowfly hat askance and making it scramble. He was quite surprised to see the usually composed little demon blushing and stammering, and he exchanged a look with Aziraphale like ‘_ something’s up here.’ _

“No reason! Must have been a wrong number!” 

“Why is-” Cutting himself off with a laugh, Aziraphale said casually, “Doesn’t seem like it’s a wrong number. What would Heaven’s Herald be doing calling Hell’s Lord of the Flies, hmm? I just spoke with him this morning, and he was as high and mighty as he’s ever been… and I wasn’t aware of any cooperation between Heaven and Hell except for our botched trials.” 

Beelzebub shoved the phone back in her pocket, rummaging for a piece of sulfur so she could return to Hell _ pronto_, but finding none. “Wait, I...I could SWEAR on the Beast’s horn that I--”

Crowley held up the piece of sulfur that he’d swiped from Beelzebub’s pocket when he was standing behind her. “Looking for this?”

“Give that back you thief!” She held out a hand impatiently, stomping her foot and making a foul-smelling cloud appear. 

Crowley stuck out his lip and tilted his head in fake sympathy, looking to Aziraphale, “Hmm, should we, L? I _ would _ like her gone as soon as possible but then….I have a sneaking suspicion there’s something juicy here.” He looked back to Beelzebub with a sly smile, “As a demon, you know I couldn’t give it back without making some kind of _ deal_.”

Aziraphale met Crowley’s look with a grin and hooked his thumbs in his belt loops before going out front to turn the lock and close the blinds. “Oh. Look at that. I’ve closed up early.”

Beelzebub stared in open-mouthed fury between the two of them, and winced when her phone started making ‘text received’ alerts (that sounded like wet farts). “I don’t have time for this! Crow..B, I DEMAND you hand that over!” Her indignant gaze followed Aziraphale as he closed up the shop, all the flies buzzing angrily around her as she weighed out the punishment for attacking an angel.

Settling down on the couch, Aziraphale hesitated only a moment before snapping for a fresh cup of tea, taking a sip and watching the two demons. “The way I see it,” he started, tilting his head at Crowley and smiling slightly. “It isn’t _ his _ fault you were too preoccupied to pay attention to your possessions. I’d say you should probably tell him what he wants to know-” _ Oh come on, you’re dying to know as well! _ “-or you’re not going anywhere. B, would you like a drink?” He waited a beat, trying to ignore the urge to be a good host despite her clear disrespect of him, but finally said with a sigh, “Oh, I _ suppose _ I should offer you something too…”

Beelzebub grit her teeth at the offer of a drink, gasping out, “You little--”

“Ah ah ah!” Crowley grinned when she turned back to look at him, crumbling the sulfur a little in his fingers and letting bits fall to the floor. Without holding the explicit intention of returning to Hell in your mind, this cursed sulfur was as useless as that on Earth and could also be destroyed. “Wouldn’t want you to have to _ walk _ back to Hell. Such a long, hard road so they say.” He crumbled a little more when she moved forward angrily, his eyes glowing yellow. “I wouldn’t know, though.”

_ You little… what? _ Perhaps it was a little uncharitable of Aziraphale to be taking such amusement from Beelzebub’s anger, but it was a little nice to be one of the ones with the power for once, rather than ‘Heaven’s most incompetent angel’. And seeing Crowley in his element was _ always _ a thrill, even though he really _ should _ have disapproved of this situation. 

Crowley gave Aziraphale a gracious, genuine smile, “I’d love a drink. Such a thoughtful angel, isn’t he Beez? Do you still have that wonderful bottle of Burgundy we ah, rescued from Paris in 1799?” One of the perks of their immortal forms was that no food or drink was ever _ really _ eaten unless they wanted it to be. Wine bottles could be emptied and then refilled instantly with a wave of their hand, to be enjoyed again another day. 

A faint flush began creeping back up Aziraphale’s face at that _ smile_, and the immediate memory that flashed through his mind of the _ circumstances _ of that ‘rescue’. _ How could I forget? I would have been stuck over a barrel either way. _ He nodded, quickly turning away with a stammer of, “Y-yes, actually, I- I’ll go grab it, de- _ B. _ ” _ Fuck, don’t call him that when SHE is here. _ Silently cursing himself the entire way, Aziraphale made his way to the back where he kept his wine collection and grabbed up the requested bottle, taking a slow detour to where his brand new security system had been set up. _ I knew that would be useful. _

Crowley slipped the sulfur into his pocket, switching his tone to be slightly less annoying to her. “I’m not just holding you here out of spite. If there’s some kind of alliance between an angel and a demon then...let’s just say we have a _ special interest _in such a precedent.”

“A-alliance?” Beelzebub goggled at him and then laughed shrilly, shaking her head. But it didn’t last long, and her shoulders sagged just a little. “What, you think Gabriel and I have some arrangement to do each other’s work like you two slackers? Pffft. Hardly.”

Aziraphale set the bottle down and clicked the monitors on, grateful to see that they were, in fact, recording. _ But is the sound any good? _ A quick check brought a grimace to his face, but it couldn’t be helped. The sound was legible enough to be going on with, at least. _ Slackers, sure. Well, at least it’s not obvious how I really feel about him. _ And at least his embarrassment was mostly subsided now. 

Crowley felt some amount of relief that that was all Hell thought about his relationship with Aziraphale. As long as their realms thought they were just lazy but clever, his actual feelings (which could incur much worse denouncement) could stay hidden. “I seem to detect a hint of wistfulness in your voice, Beez. You _ could _ just spit it out already. Maybe I could help.” He whispered behind a hand, loudly, “You may be surprised to hear this, but I know a thing or two about getting along with angels.”

Beelzebub tittered at that but forced her expression back into a glower. “Dammit, B, your stupid charm doesn’t work on me.” Maybe it did a little. “Truth is…” She went to sit on the couch but Crowley quickly brought back the already ruined chair and guided her to it. “Truth is...I may have..._ unintentionally _ of course...developed some kind of a tiny, insignificant...I mean, it’s only natural when he’s…” She shifted uncomfortably, whining, “Don’t make me say it out loud, ugh!”

Summoning a wine glass, Aziraphale took the spoils back to where Crowley and Beelzebub were still talking, just in time to hear her laughter. It made him pause in the doorway, hesitant to announce his presence; he didn’t think he’d ever heard the tiny demon _ laugh _ before. It was almost _ cute_. _ Except it’s Beelzebub, and she was going to try and fry you not even five minutes ago. _ He watched the two demons for another moment, eyes wide and a smile starting to stretch across his face as it seemed that Crowley had almost _ actually _gotten her to confide in him. 

Crowley leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, “You have a crush on Gabriel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub’s ringtone is ‘Vaseline’ by Stone Temple Pilots: https://youtu.be/s19ZyLZYCYI


	2. I Want to Break Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub finally spits out the truth, and Crowley and Aziraphale have no qualms about being a little devious to use that to their benefit, and to Gabriel’s detriment.

Crowley was laughing his ass off on the inside, and had to use a minor miracle not to let that show on his face.

“Shhhhhhhh!” Beelzebub sat up straight in her rotten chair, an alarmed look on her face. “I mean-- fuck off!! Of course not!!”

_ Oh my… she has a crush on… GABRIEL? _ Well,  _ that _ was an interesting development. Aziraphale stepped into the room then, beaming as he held up the bottle and wine glass and said brightly, “Found it! Last chance for a drink, Beelzebub, or the offer is rescinded.” He poured a glass and handed it to Crowley, then turned to the demon in the chair, tilting his head at her as she glared at him.

Crowley crossed his legs and nodded, but nothing about his expression said he believed any of that. “No, of course not. But hypothetically…” He took the glass of wine from Aziraphale, patting the empty space on the couch. “...let’s just say  _ if _ that were true--”

“Which it ISN’T.” Beelzebub sniffed in the direction of the wine Aziraphale was holding, but she really did need a drink right now. Being held hostage by a demon of lesser standing AND an angel was already humiliating enough. 

Well,  _ that _ told Aziraphale all he needed to know.  _ Damn, that is a juicy bit of gossip.  _ His lips twitched again and he refrained from saying anything about Gabriel, instead waggling the bottle at her and saying in as patient a tone as he could muster, “It’s a vintage, and it isn’t blessed or poisoned, if you’re worried.”

Begrudgingly she took the glass, “I suppose.” She waited until Crowley took a sip (making sure he didn’t combust or crumble in case it really  _ was _ laced with holy water), then gulped the whole glass down in a single swig and let out a loud burp. “I guess you two don’t know what he’s been getting up to, huh? Doubt anyone would believe it up there.” 

Aziraphale stifled a laugh, letting her take the glass as he sat down on the couch beside Crowley, pointedly not looking at him as he frowned. “What do you mean, what he’s been getting  _ up to _ ? What has he been…” 

Maybe it was the liquid courage but Beelzebub finally shrugged and pulled out her phone, opening up the latest post on Dammit.hell in the subDammit d/freakymessenger, and turned the screen to Crowley and Aziraphale with a cackle. “How’s your boss looking now, L?” 

Aziraphale leaned forward to get a better look, frowning down at Beelzebub’s phone. “What am I…” The moment it registered what he was seeing, Aziraphale reared back as if slapped, desperately wishing he could erase the image from his mind. “Oh my  _ God _ , that-” One hand came up to cover his eyes and he shook his head frantically, muttering under his breath, “I can’t believe it, that  _ insufferable prick _ .”

Crowley squinted as he tried to register what he was seeing-- _ is that GABRIEL??-- _ and he gasped in both horror and amusement as he pulled back.  _ That naughty angel!! Flaunting what God gave him!  _ “Oh Satan, get thee behind me! L, did you know about this?!” He clutched his sides and laughed hard, suddenly glad that he preferred to spend time on the human internet versus Hell’s version. 

Aziraphale turned to glare at both demons as they addressed him, answering reflexively, “ _ No _ , I did not know about this!” But as he crossed his arms, trying to push that image out of his brain, he had to reconsider.  _ After all _ … Hesitantly, he said, “I mean… There have been…  _ rumors _ about him for quite a long time, but… well, you both know him. He’s always so  _ vocal _ about not ‘fraternizing with the enemy’ that no-one has  _ ever _ taken them seriously.” But just the fact that the whispers seemed to resurface every couple centuries or so about pictures, flirtations, even  _ dalliances _ with demons should have been proof enough that there was some truth to them, despite the Herald’s best attempts to squash those rumors as soon as they started circulating again.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Crowley said, “Well, he’s certainly got quite a...fan base given all the upvotes. Surely none of those are from you.”

Beelzebub gave Crowley a knowing look before closing out the phone, relishing the angel’s reaction the most. “That’s one of the  _ tame _ pictures. Let’s just say he has numerous admirers on our side.” She rolled her black eyes, “Of course he’s too high and mighty to do anything  _ about _ it. Prat thinks he’s too good for us.”

“So… has he  _ really  _ never done anything but, ahhh… send pictures?” If  _ that _ was one of the  _ tamer _ pictures, Aziraphale absolutely did  _ not _ want to see the naughtier ones.

“Well, yes, he’s just posted pictures on Dammit, although….” Beelzebub smirked to herself, “...he’s sent me quite a few extra-special ones of his, pfft, _ insufferable prick _ .” She held one up proudly and Crowley immediately covered his eyes with a yelp.

“For evil’s sake…” Crowley hadn’t had many interactions with Gabriel other than their trial, but that had been quite enough to know what a pompous stick-in-the-mud he was. Seeing him get some come-uppance would not only be highly satisfying AND help his recent ‘be more evil’ mandate from Hell, but it might just pave the way for his own secret ulterior motive regarding a certain angel.  _ Maybe it’s not a lost cause to be with Aziraphale if other angels are already misbehaving.  _ He shivered, peeking from behind his hand, “Beez, please….put that away. No need to torture us.”

Before Beelzebub had raised the phone fully, Aziraphale was turning away, clearing his throat pointedly. “I  _ really  _ don’t want to see close-ups, thanks.” His gaze wandered to Crowley, a tiny smile breaking out at that little shiver.  _ Well, at least he doesn’t seem interested in HIM. _

Crowley sipped his wine smugly, looking at Aziraphale. This was just too hilarious. “And all those times he called  _ me _ a brazen hussy for being a temptation demon, pfft. At least  _ I _ have the excuse that it's in my job description.”

Glancing over at Crowley, Aziraphale snorted. “You, brazen? Never.” Rolling his eyes, he muttered, “I’m glad  _ you’re _ amused, at least.”  _ If I hear him call Crowley names one more time, now that I know, I might just deck him. Hypocrite. _

Beelzebub gave Aziraphale a searching look, “So Heaven  _ really _ has no clue? Some demons think this is some new kind of attack plan from your side.”

“What….get you all so horny for Gabriel that you forget to be evil on Earth?” Crowley had to set his wine down, he was cackling so hard again.

Aziraphale could feel the weight of Beelzebub’s gaze on him, and he met her eyes, letting his scowl fade. “First of all, they just put me on  _ probation _ , remember? They aren’t really my  _ side _ right now.” Still, that didn’t mean he should be spilling secrets to a high ranking demon.  _ On the other hand… if Gabriel can get away with THAT, what else could an angel with a crush do and get away with? _ Throwing caution to the wind, Aziraphale sat up straight again, reaching for his tea and taking a steadying sip before answering honestly, “Michael would throw a fit to find out what Gabriel has been up to. This is  _ definitely _ not sanctioned up top, and if those stuffy bureaucrats knew he was sending even  _ tame _ pictures like  _ that _ ? To  _ demons _ ?” He looked between them. “Well, let’s just say that it would be grounds for a little  _ re-education _ on his part, at the very least.”  _ And I know all about those boring, useless videos. _

Beelzebub shoved the phone back in her coat and crossed her arms. “So now that you two busybodies know that Golden Messenger Boy is a huge demontease, can I have my sulfur back?”

“Now wait a moment. I might have an idea.” Crowley drummed his long nails on his knee. “You say he’s only a tease, but I wonder if he wouldn’t be  _ more _ than that, given the opportunity.”

Beelzebub’s face suddenly looked a little too interested, and she tried to play it off nonchalantly, “Like what ‘opportunity’...” 

Crowley waved his hand blithely but his eyes sparkled with mischief, “Ah nothing, just a little blackmail is all. Surely he wouldn’t turn down an innocent date with you in exchange for, oh, L not telling Heaven about his  _ indiscretions _ ?”

Aziraphale brought his teacup up to his mouth to stifle his laughter at the exchange, only to nearly choke on his tea at Crowley’s suggestion. “ _ Wait _ ,” he said, coughing. “You want to hook them  _ up _ ?” His eyes glittered with amusement as Crowley went on, and he sat back thoughtfully, fingers curling against his mouth.  _ It could work. Especially if some of the nastier images get out. _

Crowley shrugged, as if he wasn’t already certain this idea was the best he’d had in weeks. “They’d never believe  _ us _ , Beez, but they’d have to believe Aziraphale if he had proof. Which I can, of course, now get from Dammit.”

“B! That’s positively evil!” Beelzebub looked absolutely delighted by the idea all around. 

Aziraphale spoke up slowly, not looking at either of them. “I… don’t think the so-called Golden Boy  _ would _ want it getting around that he actually  _ does _ indulge in this kind of behaviour. I’m sure I could wrangle a date for you if you need a little angelic assistance.”

“But wait...why would you help me….” Suddenly Beelzebub was suspicious. An angel interested in putting a black mark on the reputation of one of their own? Being complicit in a lonely hearts scheme between an angel and a demon? Sounded too good to be true, but then angels weren’t supposed to be tricky or sly. Their do-gooding was all too obvious, just the way they liked it.

Aziraphale’s gaze settled on Crowley again for a long moment, and he swallowed hard, only half registering Beelzebub’s suspicion. When he stopped to think about it, though, he supposed it made sense that she would be suspicious. After all, shouldn’t he be trying to be doing  _ good _ if he wanted his…  _ My probation. Of course! _

Eyes widening, Aziraphale turned back to Beelzebub, playing up his surprise. “You… you’re joking, right?”  _ I pulled off impersonating Crowley at the trial, maybe I can hoodwink her again. _ Giggling to himself, he shook his head incredulously and sized her up before leaning forward on his knees. “Indulgence right  _ now _ aside, do you really think I  _ want _ to be on probation? Michael may have given the order, but Gabriel is essentially my probation officer. He decides when I’ve done enough good to be back in Heaven’s good graces. This could mean I’m done  _ quicker. _ ” Shrugging, he stood up, gathering up Beelzebub’s empty wine glass and his own empty teacup before pausing to beam at her. “Really, you’ve already done  _ me _ a favour by giving me the ammunition. Helping you get what you want out of it would merely be me  _ returning _ that favour, you know?”

Crowley hadn’t been sure Aziraphale would actually go for his sneaky plan, given that it was neither angelic nor completely without risk. He had to swallow his surprise and relief that Aziraphale played along, as well as a mighty surge of...unholy thoughts that always arose whenever the angel broke a little bad.  _ Does he really just want to get off of probation faster or is he thinking what I’m thinking? _

”Beez, of  _ course _ L has to tattle on Gabriel unless there’s a good reason not to. He’s an angel and  _ everyone _ knows that Heaven is nothing but snitch central.” He held off from making the same claim about Hell even though they were just as prone to gossip and backstabbery. But the general feeling in Hell was one of ‘honor among thieves’ (which was a fat crock of shit) and they had  _ that _ on the angels.  _ The two sides are much more alike than they’d ever admit. _

Aziraphale stifled a snicker, rolling his eyes a little at Crowley’s claim that Heaven was ‘snitch central’. It was certainly true, though  _ he _ had never been fond of that practice. He nodded and started for the kitchen, giving Crowley a hopeful smile as he called back over his shoulder, “Just think about it.” He reluctantly stepped out of earshot, setting everything down in the sink before going to grab a strawberry popsicle from the freezer, leaning against the counter as he waited for the demons to finish their conversation. 

Crowley waited until Aziraphale was out of the room to lean in and whisper, “Plus, isn’t this exactly the kind of thing you wanted me to do? What could be more evil than sabotaging one of the highest-ranking angels? I’m just seizing the day. Carpe diem and all that nonsense.” He had no love for Gabriel but wouldn’t really sabotage him unless it came to that-- deep down he was slightly impressed at the Herald’s nerve.

“Doing a favor for an angel gives me the creeps but….” Beelzebub nodded seriously, considering it. “...when you put it like that, seems like there’s more in it for  _ our  _ side.”  _ Or at least something in it for ME _ . She did know that this particular angel was more prone to unconventional methods than his kin, and getting off probation seemed a logical motivation. Probation didn’t make much difference in Hell, where some demons had been on it so long no one even remembered to shun them anymore, but it was probably a bigger deal upstairs. “But if you make some big scandal out of it then I won’t get any more pictures!”

Crowley rolled his eyes.  _ Really? _ “So make sure he understands to play nice so that doesn’t happen.” He held out the piece of sulfur and Beelzebub took it right away. “Now I believe you have a phone call to return?  _ Do _ let us know how it goes, and watch your long-distance minutes.” He gave her a wide grin as she merely snorted and disappeared in a haze of yellow smoke.

Once she was gone, Crowley dashed into the kitchen, wheezing with laughter as he leaned on the angel’s shoulder. “L!!! I can’t--” 

Aziraphale didn’t actually have to wait long, and could only stare at Crowley wide-eyed as the demon cackled, face flushing at the unexpected weight against him and his half-eaten lolli slipping from suddenly weak fingers to land on the floor in a sticky, melting puddle. Really, it was quite a good thing that he didn’t truly  _ need _ to breathe, because he quite literally forgot to do so, too distracted by Crowley’s proximity and the way he was  _ still touching _ him to even register what he was saying.

Crowley couldn’t catch his breath enough to speak coherently and had to wait a moment before going on. His snake eyes danced with glee at this fortunate turn of events. “Can you imagine??! Mr. High and Mighty hacking into the Hellecom to upload his nasty pictures on Dammit. And for who knows how long! I  _ knew _ they shouldn’t have put Ligur in charge of online security. Probably didn’t get any better after he...well, had his  _ accident _ .” That inspired a new wave of giggles, and as he waved his hand, all the dirty dishes immediately sparkled and shot into their respective shelves, the wine bottle refilled itself most of the way. “Oh drat. I let her walk off with an entire glass of that exquisite wine in her rancid belly. I guess we wouldn’t have wanted it back anyway, hmm?” B pulled back and put a little space between himself and Aziraphale, a blush rising to his cheeks as he realized he’d been touching the angel in his excitement.

_ He’s not using his hypnosis on ME, is he? _ Licking his lips, Aziraphale shook his head a little as he came out of his daze, looking down with a pleased little grin, knowing that couldn’t be the case. In all the time he’d known the demon, Crowley-  _ B, you need to get in the habit of calling him that _ \- had never once  _ tried _ to tempt him, not  _ really _ . In fact, the demon had indulged him far more than perhaps he  _ should _ have, and Aziraphale had always taken a sort of joy in indulging and spoiling the demon in kind when he could get away with it.  _ He rarely ever touches me, though. I like it when he does. _

As Crowley pulled away, Aziraphale took a deep breath, trying to put his thoughts back in order and piece together what Crowley had just said. “It  _ is  _ a little hypocritical of the prat to always be calling you temptation demons sluts when  _ he’s _ the one going around just showing  _ everything _ off.” He waved away the mess with a soft sigh and turned back to Crowley, eyes bright and lingering on his mouth for a split second before he raised them to meet Crowley’s. “So… I take it she went for it, huh? Guess now I get to bring Mr. High and Mighty down a peg.” 

“She’ll go for it, if I know Beez. She’s got it  _ bad _ .” Crowley walked over to frown at the wine bottle, putting it away. “Which is odd because in 6000 years I’ve  _ never _ seen her interested in anyone, and more than a few demons have tried.” He held up his hands, “Not me, of course. Not my type.”  _ My type is exactly the opposite of Beez.  _ He chuckled as he went back into the main shop to send the maggoty chair, plastic mat, and residual flies into the closest black hole.

“Not your type, huh?” Aziraphale smiled and trailed after Crowley into the main room, hands shoved in his pockets and trying not to beam  _ too _ much at how sweet Crowley was being.  _ Cleaning up my shop for me again? _

“But she’s the right-hand of Lucifer so even with the uh…” Crowley waved around his head to indicate the flies. “...she’s still got plenty of offers.”

Aziraphale coughed quietly and then said in an overly innocent tone, “I mean, she can be kind of cute sometimes…” 

“Kind of cute?” Crowley’s voice lilted up in amusement, snickering as he teased back. “Well, that’s a first. Should I pass you her number? She  _ does _ have a thing for angels as we’ve learned.”

Aziraphale gaped at him and then laughed even  _ harder _ at the teasing. “Oh please  _ don’t _ , ugh. Even if I  _ was _ legitimately interested, which I am most assuredly  _ not _ , she likes  _ Gabriel _ for some reason.” He shook his head, smirking a bit. “Not interested in playing second fiddle to  _ anyone _ . And… it’s not like I’ve got any prospects right now.” He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender before saying with a grin, “She’s definitely not  _ my _ type, either.”  _ What IS your type, then, Crowley? _

Crowley flopped on the couch and waved again, a dozen floating scented candles hovering around the shop. “Let’s see if we can do something about that lingering aroma, ugh. Say what you want about Heaven, L, it doesn’t smell half as bad as Hell.” He stuck out his lip in the direction of the angel, “And you know how sensitive my nose is. I have to stuff peppermints up my nostrils every time they call me back. Imagine the indignity.”

Aziraphale sniffed the air and took a step into the room, considering where to sit as Crowley continued on, a private little smile on his face. He certainly knew all about that  _ sensitive _ nose. It was the main reason he even indulged in the human tradition of  _ bathing _ , to see the look on the demon’s face when he happened upon a scent Crowley liked. Finally, he moved to the couch, picking up Crowley’s feet and settling comfortably before pulling the demon’s feet across his lap.

Crowley tried not to focus too much on how Aziraphale’s hands felt on his feet, not looking at them either. It had surprised him how comfortable they were with each other lately, although it really shouldn’t have-- 6000 years and a near-death experience probably tends to result in that eventually. But for all his bluster to Beelzebub, he had about as much of a spine around Aziraphale as a wet noodle. In all these millennia he’d never worked up the nerve to even hint that his feelings went (far) beyond friendship, worried about the damage that might do. If Aziraphale didn’t feel the same, it would ruin the only friendship that mattered to him. If Aziraphale  _ did _ , that was even worse given the one-sided stakes. No, it would be foolish and selfish to speak up, so he forced himself to hold his forked tongue. 

He didn’t move his feet though. 

There had been something weighing on his mind to tell Aziraphale about Gabriel ever since he’d come back from Heaven (they’d had to switch bodies during their trials following the averted Apocalypse), but had held it back since he hadn’t wanted to upset the angel. But Crowley didn’t think it was fair now, not when Gabriel was probably about to be an unfortunate part of their lives in some hopefully limited capacity. 

“Heh, you should take a can of Febreze next time you go down there,” Aziraphale said, closing his eyes and resting his hands on Crowley’s ankle. The silence from the demon was a little unusual, and after a moment, he opened his eyes again, pinning Crowley with a curious stare. “B?”

“L...I know I told you what happened at your ‘trial,’ generally speaking.” Crowley fiddled with a smudge of sulfur on his shirt as he tried to just spit it out. 

Aziraphale gave his friend a slow nod, brow furrowing when it became clear that Crowley didn’t want to say what he was so clearly struggling with. 

Crowley forced himself to go on. “But, um, right before they had you--well,  _ me _ \-- step into the column of fire...Gabriel was somewhat more of a bastard than usual. I suppose I’m not as familiar with his baseline level of asshattery but, shit I’m babbling...anyway, he told me to shut my stupid mouth and  _ die _ already.” 

Aziraphale’s mouth dropped open in shock at the words that came tumbling out of Crowley’s mouth, looking down immediately and his grip tightening slightly on Crowley’s ankle.  _ Gabriel really said… THAT? _ He had  _ known _ that Gabriel didn’t like him, the ass had  _ never _ liked him, but to tell anyone, much less a fellow  _ angel _ , to…  _ He thought he was talking to me. _ His lips pressed into a thin, unhappy line and he frowned hard, trying to push away the pang of hurt at the unnecessarily cruel words. “That’s…”  _ Pretty believable, actually. _

Crowley coughed a little and turned away, knowing he probably could have delivered that better, but telling Aziraphale bad news was never something he was good at. “Sorry, angel. That I didn’t tell you before. Believe me, it took everything I had not to punch him in his pearly whites.”

Sighing, Aziraphale shook his head slowly, mumbling, “No, don’t apologize. Uh… thank you for telling me.” He shot a quick glance at Crowley, adding, “And for… wanting to defend me. Unfortunately, that’s kind of on-brand for him.” It still didn’t make it any easier to hear.  _ No wonder he seemed so smug about my ‘probation’. _

Crowley’s face fell watching Aziraphale struggle with Gabriel’s words, and he tentatively reached out to squeeze the angel’s shoulder. “I’m sorry all the same though. Hell doesn’t have a monopoly on cruelty.” That was a lesson they’d both learned early on, and Crowley would never forget his bewilderment watching Aziraphale explain about the Ark and the flood to come. That was just the first of many times he’d wondered why there were sides at all, whether it was just about ego and who blasphemed who and over what. 

Swallowing hard against the lump in his throat, Aziraphale looked over at Crowley with a sad smile and just nodded. He couldn’t be sure which event the demon was thinking of, but there had been enough tragedies they’d witnessed over the last 6000 years that it didn’t even really  _ matter _ . He reached up to briefly squeeze Crowley’s hand before letting it fall to his lap again. “Sometimes,” he started softly, gaze flicking warily to the ceiling. “... I feel like Heaven can be even  _ more _ cruel than Hell. At least with Hell, you  _ know _ you’re being damned. With Heaven, it’s all… restriction after restriction, and follow these arbitrary rules set down ages ago for merely the  _ promise _ of getting in, and if you do even  _ one _ thing wrong… down you go. How is  _ that _ fair?” He sighed; he’d had his doubts about some of the orders he’d been given in the beginning, but after the sword incident, he had followed them without question. Because that was what good little angels were supposed to  _ do _ , what had been hammered into him in that very first ‘re-education’ lesson.  _ Fat lot of good those did me. Guess I use my brain too much for Heaven. _

Forcing a smile, Aziraphale said, “Well… I  _ was _ going to suggest going for a walk or doing something fun, but now I just kind of feel like getting a drink. You in? We could go to that pub you like…” 

Crowley sighed, relieved that Aziraphale wasn’t too upset. Or, at least nothing some blasphemy over booze wouldn’t mend. “Oh a drink sounds lovely. Preferably by the bottle so I can drown out the memory of those pictures...ugh.” 

“By the  _ bottle _ ?” Aziraphale snorted, grateful for the distraction from his thoughts. He knew they were treading dangerously close to blasphemous territory. If Gabriel heard him say anything like that aloud, it would probably be ‘ _ down you go _ ’ without any preamble, and much as he complained about  _ upper management _ , he actually  _ liked _ being an angel. “I like the way you think. Now I understand what humans mean when they talk about ‘brain bleach’.” A shudder went through him as the picture flashed in his mind again, and he withdrew his hands, running one through his messy hair. “What has been seen  _ cannot _ be unseen.” 

He shrugged and laughed a little, trying to seem casual. “Maybe over drinks you can tell me what your, uh,  _ type _ is, hmm?”

Crowley cringed but his yellow eyes went wide and he flushed at Aziraphale’s off-hand comment about ‘his type.’  _ Oh shit.  _ Of course, Aziraphale knew what  _ kind _ of demon Crowley was (and had likely seen some of what he’d gotten up to in passing), but they’d never really talked about their  _ preferences _ before. There was certainly a difference between what Crowley had to do for his job and what he’d  _ like _ to be doing. Or  _ who _ he’d like to be doing.  _ Fuck fuck fuck!  _ “M-my type? Oh, I wouldn’t want to bore you.” He laughed it off as he got up to get his coat, shrugging it on and motioning with his head to the door, trying to miracle away the purple tint that would probably follow that lie.  _ That’s damn inconvenient to go eggplant whenever I lie to an angel. Maybe he won’t notice.  _ Crowley put on his sunglasses despite it being night outside. “Wanna take the Bentley?”

Aziraphale gaped when Crowley got up, narrowing his eyes in sudden suspicion, lips thinning again - in  _ amusement _ this time. Crowley seemed to think he was being slick by walking away from him, but the demon only ever did that when he was trying to  _ hide _ something. With a snicker, Aziraphale got up as well, hands on his hips as he asked laughingly, “B! Are you  _ lying  _ to me?”  _ I will NEVER get over the fact he turns purple when he lies to me _ , he thought, snatching up his coat and following Crowley towards the door. “No matter, I’ll get it out of you eventually.” Catching up, he gave the demon a sidelong look and grinned, nudging him gently with his elbow. “HA! Purple. Thought so. Yeah, let’s take the Bentley. Maybe we can get dinner, too, since it’s starting to get late?”

“No idea what you’re talking about.” The bell on the door of A.Z. Fell and Co. jangled loudly as Crowley huffed and stepped outside, snuffing out all the scented candles with a twirl of his finger. He sauntered to his beloved car and held the passenger door open for Aziraphale, incinerating the stack of parking meter tickets that had accumulated under his windshield. He sighed as he climbed in too, “You’d think they’d get tired of writing me tickets since the paperwork always becomes ‘lost’ in the system. But no.” 

  
Aziraphale just gave Crowley an amused look, murmuring a soft ‘thank you’ as he slid into the passenger seat, fingers brushing softly against Crowley’s wrist for the slightest moment.  _ Whatever you say, dear.  _ “See, this is why I don’t drive anywhere,” he laughed, settling in for the ride. “Besides, why would I drive when  _ you’ll _ drive me anywhere I want to go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the Queen song ‘I Want to Break Free’-- https://youtu.be/f4Mc-NYPHaQ


	3. Mr. Blue Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley get drunk at a pub but are interrupted with news of the best kind. There’s a catch, of course.

Twenty minutes later they were seated in a posh pub, getting looks for the odd pair they made. “Think I’ll have...well I always am partial to the oysters here. Remember when you made me try them in Rome? Ah, back before plastic and pollution ruined them all.” Neither of them needed to eat for sustenance so it was purely for the pleasure of it. Crowley was never sure where the food _ went _ but it never came back out again by the human modalities. Probably the same place air went when they pretended to breathe, or wine when they drank. _ Although we’re quite capable of getting drunk. _

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ears, Aziraphale leaned his chin in his hand as he quickly scanned the menu, then glanced up with a smile. “I remember. I _ also _ remember you calling me out on my, ahhh… not very _ angelic _ behavior.” _ I still can’t believe I outright SAID I was trying to tempt him. _ His smile became a little more dreamy, nostalgia coloring his voice when he spoke again. “You know, sometimes I wish I could go back to that time. I know there was a lot of ignorance, but _ some _ things were just… better. There seemed to be more _ wonder _ as people discovered things for the first time.” He sighed, then blinked, shrugging self consciously and laughing. “Too bad time travel isn’t exactly a common power, right?” _ If it even IS an existing power. _

Crowley smiled across the table, looking at Aziraphale over his dark glasses, “Don’t tell anyone, but I love it when you aren’t very angelic.” _ Shit, that sounded like flirting. _He added quickly, “But that’s to be expected, isn’t it?” He had to always be mindful never to let his natural inclinations for temptation shine through around Aziraphale. For one, it would probably be insulting if the angel detected it (even though by now it was second nature to Crowley and took more effort to control than to use it). For another, Heaven forbid it actually worked.

Aziraphale went utterly still at that comment, staring at him for a long moment before he remembered to breathe, and his lips quirked up in a smirk. “You love it, huh?” he asked in a casual tone he definitely didn’t feel. _ Was… he flirting with me? _ “I mean, you _ are _ a demon, I’d have been surprised if you didn’t like seeing one of us being a little _ bad _ every now and then.” _ Ugh, I wish he was talking about me in particular, though_. 

Crowley looked over his menu at Aziraphale, using a minor miracle to dampen their voices to everyone else in the restaurant. “Heaven never did approve of drinking to _ excess _, how’d you manage sailing under the radar on that one?” 

He gazed across the room, sneakily using hypnosis on the waiter to plant the idea to come take their orders. _ Oh wait...better idea. I’ll just beam our orders right into his head. _ “So, what looks good angel?”

Aziraphale could tell he was blushing again, and he looked up, following Crowley’s gaze to the waiter before gazing back at him. He didn’t particularly feel like explaining his rebellion against the excessive drinking ban, so instead, he tapped his selection on the menu. “Might as well get oysters for both of us, you’ve made me nostalgic. And also…” A grin split his face. “How about that dessert platter? We can share. Sound good?” 

“Alright, a reef’s portion of oysters and the chef’s dessert plate.” Crowley glanced in the direction of the waiter who immediately set down the tray he was carrying to another table and headed into the kitchen to put in their order. A wave of Crowley’s hand and the menus disappeared back to the host station’s podium.

Aziraphale let out a soft breath when Crowley looked away, letting his gaze travel over the demon to admire the way he looked today. Crowley had been far too attentive for him to really _ look_, and then with Beelzebub’s arrival, they’d been preoccupied, but now? Well, the demon _ always _ looked amazing. _ That hair really suits him. I hope he keeps it longer than he did the last hairstyle. _

“Hope you don’t mind I ordered you a drink. Warning though, I might have given them ‘special instructions’ on how to make it...better.” Crowley moved his water aside to make room for the approaching bartender, who silently set down a Kitchen Sink Bloody Mary in front of Crowley and a Passion Fruit Habanero cocktail in front of Aziraphale.

Crowley pulled the bacon-wrapped pickle out of his drink and nibbled on it with a sly grin. _ I’ll let him find out for himself that it's sweet AND got a kick. _ “Hope you like it.”

Blinking, Aziraphale looked at the drink that was set down in front of him, and then laughed. “You know you can always order me any drink you want, Crowley,” he said, picking up the drink and inhaling, eyes widening at the whiff of spice he could detect. _ Hmm. Well, he’s never steered me wrong with the drinks he’s ordered me before. _ “You _ do _ know what I like.” 

Crowley looked up sharply when he heard his old name, “Shhh. Don’t let them hear you say that or you’ll get docked a miracle again.” He sighed with the annoyance of all this probation nonsense, “Actually, they might be full of shit and just won’t put a gold star on your chart today.” His own letter had specified that his consequences would be him being recalled from Earth, but the statement that it would also be ‘counted against his full reinstatement’ were just fancy words for saying it might piss someone off enough to zap his Bentley. “I guess if they made us sign something, they’re serious about it.”

_ Oops. _ “I, uh… forgot. This is all very new still, you know. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it in no time.” Aziraphale shrugged; he didn’t _ relish _ the thought of losing a miracle, but there was nothing he could do about it _ now_, was there? Taking a sip, he sat back and let out a giggle. “Oh _ wow_, that’s strong!” Another sip. “And _ spicy. _ Are you _ trying _ to get me drunk?” He looked up at Crowley and grinned, taking a healthy swallow this time and savoring it. “Ohhh, okay, that is _ delicious. _”

Crowley took a gulp of his own drink as he watched Aziraphale try the spicy cocktail, humming with approval that it was appreciated. “And they say in Hell that angels won’t try anything spicier than ketchup, bah.” 

Taking another drink, Aziraphale had an idle thought of making steam come out of his ears from the spice, giggling to himself at the mental image. _ It’s not THAT spicy_. “Yes, well, most of the angels I interact with don’t really care for spicy things, so I suppose that isn’t entirely wrong? At least this is also sweet.” He gave the demon a coy smile. “I trust you not to make things too… spicy for me.” _ If I don’t stop drinking this cocktail, I will need another one, and then I might actually be drunk before food gets here. _ Reluctantly setting his drink down, Aziraphale straightened the cuffs on his shirt before leaning forward slightly. “So. You waved me off earlier, but I’m curious now. _ Do _ you have a type?” _ 90% sure it won’t be me, but we’ll see. _

Crowley popped one of the speared olives into his mouth and was chewing happily when Aziraphale turned the conversation back to that uncomfortable topic, stopping to stare like a deer in the headlights. _ Again?! Won’t he give it up? _

Swirling the cocktail around slightly, Aziraphale watched Crowley’s expression morph and couldn’t help but smile to himself behind the glass. Seeing Crowley flustered like this was always a little bit fun, especially when it was obvious that the demon also found it funny. “What’s wrong, B?” he asked with affected innocence, chewing on his lip slightly.

Crowley grimaced as he chewed and swallowed, picking up his napkin to unnecessarily dab at his mouth to stall. “Why are angels so damned tenacious?” He was trying to sound put-out but there was definitely amusement beneath his tone. If he lied again, he’d turn purple in front of all these people, prompting another miracle to hide it (although it never worked to hide it from Aziraphale for some reason). _ I suppose I could just answer it in an equally annoying way. _“Do I have a type? Yes.” He looked over to the kitchen, willing all their oysters to be immediately shucked and ready. “Ah look, here’s the food. What impeccable timing.” He grinned at Aziraphale as two enormous plates were placed in front of them. “I swear they get more efficient every time we come.”

“Ugh, really?” Slumping back slightly in his chair, Aziraphale couldn’t help but laugh at Crowley’s obvious dodging of the question. “Fine then, keep your secrets for now. I’m hungry.” His eyes danced with mirth as he gave an absent nod to the waiter, reaching for an oyster. “But I _ will _get the answer out of you at some point.”

Crowley lifted an oyster, giving Aziraphale a nod, “I look forward to seeing you try.” No, he didn’t really, but there was also no way he was going to back down from a challenge from Aziraphale. 

\----

A couple hours later, the two were halfway through the dessert plate by the time Aziraphale sat back in his chair, grinning and pink-faced. He was just starting his fourth cocktail, and had even had a few shots with Crowley, and he was feeling pleasantly drunk now.

Crowley knew how drunk he had to be just from watching how drunk _ Aziraphale _ was. That and all the empty shot glasses lined up on the table between the two of them. The oysters were long gone and he’d had to stop himself from eating the dessert when he couldn’t stab it with the fork anymore. He snorted as he tossed the tricky utensil to the table, slurring his words a little, “Mmmm, guess thassit for me on the cake front.” He gestured dramatically at the remaining desserts, “I bequeath it to you, m’dear friend Azzle....Mazira...uh. L! Yeah...that’s the one.” He stuck his finger up and pointed to the ceiling, “Got it right in the end, you tools!” Realizing belatedly that his set of ‘tools’ were below not above, he pointed down instead, laughing as he leaned on the table. He grinned at Aziraphale, “I guess that was for the both of us…”

Aziraphale bit his lip at Crowley’s drunken dramatics, trying not to giggle, but his effort was wasted. Seeing the sloshed demon point in the wrong direction had him practically _ howling _ with laughter, and he managed to compose himself enough to lift his glass as if in toast. “I don’t know ‘bout you, but despite all the _ ridiculous _ posturing from our respective bosses today… I feel pretty good. ‘M still here, and I’ve still got my-” He nearly said ‘favourite demon’, narrowly stopping himself. His expression flickered for a moment before settling into a fond smile. “My _ best friend. _” 

Crowley picked up another shot when Aziraphale raised his cup, clinking it together and sloshing out some of the tequila. “Feelin’ great! They ain’t killed us yet.” Crowley gazed across the table, meeting Aziraphale’s eyes and letting his glow a little. “To _ best friends _ .” _ That’s it, huh...yeah…. _He downed the shot, fumbling for a piece of lime to bite, mouth puckering at the sour taste as he slammed the empty shot glass down. 

Clinking his glass against Crowley’s, Aziraphale slammed back a large gulp. “Best friends,” he repeated in a breathless whisper. Or at least, he was _ sure _ he was whispering… right? Shrugging, he took another large swallow, coughing a bit at the accumulated _ heat_. He stretched his legs out under the table, nudging Crowley’s foot with one of his own as he cradled the glass in his hand. “So, as your best friend, I absolutely _ have _ to know. _ What _ is your type, eh?”

Crowley burst out laughing loudly as Aziraphale asked him that dratted question _ again. _ Shaking his head defeatedly, “Hellfire, you don’t give up.” He gave Aziraphale a little smirk at the poke under the table, eyes smoldering just a moment before Crowley cut himself off. _ No temptation shit, idiot! _

Aziraphale started, eyes widening in surprise as Crowley burst out laughing, and he sat up straight with a defiant little grin dancing on his lips. “Nuh _ uh_, when’ve I _ ever _ given up?” he asked, slumping forward on his elbows over the table now. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Crowley, lips parting and tongue darting out to moisten them as he watched the demon intently. The alcohol was making his head swim lazily, but it was that glimpse of Crowley’s glowing eyes that _ really _ made him feel warm all over. _ Don’t do that to me here, Crowley, shit, I might lose my mind and kiss you and ruin this. _

_ “ _You really aren’t gonna let me off the hook here, huh?” Crowley blinked a few times, looking away as he scratched at his neck and thought about what to say that would put an end to this interrogation. But the problem was that he was so drunk that any lie would be apparent right away, and he wasn’t focused enough to perform any miracles to hide it. Not without draining the alcohol from his system and that would ruin all the fun of being drunk with Aziraphale. 

The smolder from the demon died down, but that didn’t really matter. “_ Tell _ me, B,” Aziraphale pressed, breathless again and smiling like he knew a secret nobody _ else _ knew. Poking Crowley’s foot again, he asked softly, “ _ Please? _”

Crowley turned back to Aziraphale slurring, “Fiiiiiine, what’s the harm.”

When the demon finally relented, Aziraphale lifted his glass again, giving a small, unabashedly cheerful ‘_ yay! _’

“My type is uh…” Words faltered as Crowley wanted to just blurt out _ ‘well, YOU.’ _ “Guess I like a guy who’s got some sass to ‘im, maybe ain’t afraid to put me in my place but not nasssty either. Not like all those demons down there, ugh. Uh, what else...fun! Yeah, he’s got to know how to have a good time but if I wanna just chat him up he’s got a good mind. Probably kinda old.” _ Like 6000 years or so. _ “Wears his age well though, like ya never’d know it. Other than that, hmmm…”

Propping his head in his hand, Aziraphale let his eyes fall half shut, listening intently to every word… but not only the _ words_, but paying attention to the _ way _ Crowley was speaking, the pregnant little silences in between thoughts. If they didn’t sober up to get themselves home, he would be able to relive the memory in perfect clarity in the morning, but for now, he just wanted to let Crowley’s voice wash over him. He snorted, murmuring, “ _ Old_, and wears his age _ well_, huh?” _ Guess that’s me out. _

Crowley stared down at the half-finished dessert. “Sweet. He could be soft but would kick someone’s ass too. Not MY ass. Other asses. Also when I’m an ass, he puts up with that. Or just tells me to shut up when I’m rambling.” He looked back up at Aziraphale and grinned sheepishly, too drunk to be embarrassed although he’d likely die of shame tomorrow and spend the whole day as a snake.

Aziraphale opened his eyes, arching an eyebrow at Crowley and taking a sip of his drink before grinning. _ Tells him to shut- HA, that sounds like me. _ Without even thinking about what he was doing, Aziraphale set his drink down and beamed at the demon. “B, dear…” His smile grew wider at seeing that sweet grin on Crowley’s face, and he continued teasingly, “Shut _ up_, you’re ramblin’.”

Crowley cackled and went on anyway. “He can probably suck a great dick, too.” He slammed back a shot, pushing another one across the table with a smirk. “Ok, angel, your turn. Out with it.” _ Turnabout’s fair play. _

“Cr-_ B! _ ” Crowley’s cackling had Aziraphale’s face burning so hot, he thought he could see the demon’s face glowing slightly, and he hastily tamped the amused embarrassment down, gratified when the glow faded away. “ _ Fuck. _” He shook his head and giggled, pressing the cool glass to his still burning cheek before sitting back and saying, “Fiiiiine.”

Crowley could barely register what he was hearing, mouth falling open in surprise to hear the angel curse _ just like that_. He was pretty sure that was the first time he’d ever heard Aziraphale drop the f-bomb in 6000 years, and they’d definitely been this drunk before. Not quite the usual angelic behavior, and it was _ doing _ things to him to see Aziraphale transgress even a little. Sure, Crowley was only borrowing this human form but it reacted much the way a true human would when it heard or saw something he liked. _ Blazes, why did I wear such tight pants… _

A quick drink to bolster Aziraphale’s nerve saw him taking a deep breath and eyeing Crowley. _ You are my type, you silly demon. _ “Well, f’starters… I always liked a man who speaks his mind. Loudly. ‘N often.” _ Sometimes to your detriment, though I HATE seeing you get in trouble. _ “Someun I can talk to for _ hours _ or who’s not afraid to have different interests than me, but likes enough’ve the same things that we _ can _ have fun together.” He took another bolstering swallow, unintentionally letting his gaze drift down to Crowley’s mouth. “I like… a guy who takes _ pride _ in lookin’ good. But does it for _ him _ . Changeable, exprem… expart- likes t’ _ experiment _ .” Biting his lip again, Aziraphale glanced back up and smiled. “Likes t’flaunt how sexy he is when the _ reeeeaally _ sexy thing is how much of’n undercover sweetheart he really _ is _ under th’loud, rude exterior.” 

Crowley wiped his shock away and listened with bemused interest to Aziraphale’s list of characteristics of his type, Crowley’s twisted and unnatural heart beating faster as he couldn’t help but compare each one to himself. _ I am loud and like to flaunt what I got but...surely he couldn’t find a DEMON attractive. That’s against the rules! Well, his side’s rules. _From the description, it could have been Crowley...or else there was some other loud sexy guy out there he’d have to find and….

The ‘dick sucking’ comment flitted through Aziraphale’s mind again, and he let out a stuttering giggle, wrinkling his nose up before saying, “An I _ love _ a guy that kin make me _ laugh_, take my breath away, make me wanna do _ bad things _ to him just by sitting there.” He picked up the fork Crowley discarded, clumsily spearing a piece of cake and deliberately looking the demon in the eye as he stuck it in his mouth, letting out a low ‘mmm’. Smiling, he placed the fork down delicately on the table and asked brightly, “Happy?”

Crowley made a little strangled noise in his throat, slitted-eyes expanding until he blurted out, “Bad things?!” He slapped a hand over his mouth and looked around, but remembered he’d already muffled their voices to be unintelligible to others. Pulling his hand down, he leaned closer and whispered, “L...y’can’t be doin _ bad things _ can you?” He’d always wondered this but Gabriel’s little escapades had filled him with curiosity. “Aren’t ya supposed to be thinkin’ about praises and hymns n’ stuff? Seems like angels aren’t suppos’d to have uh...carnal thoughts let alone _ do _ anything about them.” He waited a beat, staring at Aziraphale. “Am I...wrong?” _ Oh damnation, I hope I’m wrong. _

If hearing Aziraphale let an f-bomb slip got him slightly riled up, the thought of the angel actually _ indulging _ in physical pleasure made him have to surreptitiously adjust himself in his tight slacks for fear of popping the zipper. 

Aziraphale grinned at Crowley, leaning forward even more and lowering his voice to a near purr as he confirmed, “Oh, _ wickedly _ bad things.” _ Like kiss you all over, for starters, though that’s hardly what most would call ‘wicked’. _He paused, lips twisting into a teasing smirk before adding, “Like steal that last shot.” Without preamble, he giggled, snatching up the shot glass in front of Crowley between his thumb and forefinger and knocking it back. He shook his head as he set it back down, pretending to be disappointed as he said, “Oh damn, looks like I spilled some of your tequila on my hand. Pity.”

Looked like there was nothing for it but to tease a little more, even though Aziraphale couldn’t _ really _ be sure how Crowley was taking this. Sucking the alcohol off his fingers, he smiled at the demon and, once he’d pulled the digits from his mouth, said in an overly innocent tone, “Hav’nt I _ already _ been a _ bad _ angel?” A little more seriously, “Honestly? I was always led ta believe that I _ couldn’t _ indulge in… _ that _ kind of behaviour, as ‘n angel, but affer we botched th’apocalypse…” He hesitated, blinking and shaking his head to try and clear some of the fuzziness. “N after tha’ lil revelation bout Gabrel… why _ can’t _ we? _ Issir _ really anything _ stoppin’ _ me? Not like I haven’t thought ‘bout it before, I s’pose.”

‘_ ...why can’t WE’?!! _Crowley stared at Aziraphale, wondering for a moment if he wasn’t just drunkenly hallucinating all of this. Maybe Beez was playing a trick on him and the man teasing him across the table was actually a temptation demon in disguise. But no...he could see and sense Aziraphale’s decidedly angelic aura. With open wonder, “Waz got INTO you lately, L?” Didn’t the angel know that anyone might be watching them from on high? Could use his words against him? 

Aziraphale’s eyes widened at that question, lips curving up in a wicked grin. _ I wish YOU’D get into me_, he thought, licking his lips as he watched Crowley’s face.

Aziraphale’s grin faded away, though, because really, he didn’t know for _ sure _ , did he? Sure, he’d thought about it, about Crowley, many _ many _ times… and with increasing frequency over the years… and he’d never been zapped by the Almighty for it. And clearly _ having _ those thoughts wasn’t _ actually _ a sin, or Gabriel wouldn’t be doing what _ he _ was doing without Falling… right? Finally, he shrugged and took a sip of his drink, holding the rest out to Crowley with a small smile as he said honestly, “I really dunno whether it’s okay or not, buuuuut… seems ‘ere’s no harm’n at least jus’ _ thinkin _ ’ it.” _ Which is good, cause I really want to climb into your lap right now_, he thought, swallowing hard and sending a silent prayer that he was reading the demon’s reaction right. _ Ugh, I hope that means he’s thinking about me_. “Never been zapped yet.”

This was too much for Crowley to bear after six millennia of denying himself. To his ears, Aziraphale had just confessed he’d been thinking about..._ ME??? Oh for fuck’s sake, why didn’t he say something before? _ Suddenly he wanted to be having this conversation in a very different location--- like somewhere they could be alone and he could find out exactly what ‘wickedly bad things’ Aziraphale was referring to-- but then, there was no safe place from Heaven’s spies.

He tentatively took the drink Aziraphale was holding out to him, his eyes never leaving the angel’s, and downed the rest of it. He whispered, “If you keep talking like that I’m gonna do something that might get us both zapped.” He _ should _ go home, get rid of the booze in his system and take a long, VERY cold shower. But what if they never got the nerve to talk to each other like this again? 

Aziraphale’s voice was breathless as he watched Crowley take the glass. He was breathing very hard, trying his best not to stare at the demon’s mouth, but it was so very difficult not to when Crowley was whispering to him like that, and started to speak in a ragged hush, “_ B _, I-”

But Crowley’s phone went off, leaving Aziraphale wide-eyed and gaping, watching in dismay as his demon pulled the phone out to answer. _ No no no, go away! _ he ranted silently, pouting hard and trying to ignore the way his borrowed body was _ aching _ with tension.

Crowley reluctantly fumbled in his jacket for his phone as it buzzed in his pocket (like the literal buzzing of flies) and he closed his eyes with a sigh. _ Beezlebub. _

He hissed into the phone, “Bad time Beez, after hours n’ all.”

“_ Fuck_,” Aziraphale whispered, slumping against the table with his chin in his hands. _ Beelzebub, you buzzkill. _ His fingers clenched lightly in the table cloth as he squirmed in his seat, trying _ not _ to think about how badly he wanted to lean forward and grab the demon’s collar and pull him into a kiss.

“Fuck off. This isn’t a work call. It’s about that little suggestion you made earlier.” Beelzebub was perched on her disgusting trash throne, feet currently propped up on some lesser demon crouching on the floor as a footstool. “Or don’t you want to hear what the Herald had to say?” She covered the phone and hissed down to another demon manicuring her toenails to long points, “Don’t forget to use the brimstone this time you fuck!”

Crowley’s brows shot up and he hurriedly put the phone on speaker so Aziraphale could hear too. “Go on, m’ a bit drunk but wanna hear this.”

“Well, in a word, it worked. Getting ready for our big date right now.” Beelzebub would incinerate the cadre of demons helping with that, although they didn’t know it yet. No one could know, those were the terms. “Is Azira..I mean, L there? I imagine that stuffy fool hasn’t wised up to your dumb ass yet, hmm?”

Crowley rolled his eyes, “Oh, listen to the Drosophila Queen. Hope Gabriel likes ‘em extra ripe and pungent, pffft.” He waved his hand, “But yea, he’s ‘ere.” He held the phone in the middle of the table. 

Hearing her call him _ stuffy _ didn’t help matters-- _ but what does she mean by ‘wised up’? Unless… _\-- and Aziraphale nearly bit off a snappy retort before Crowley spoke up, changing it to a stifled snicker at the last second.

“Aye, Drosophila Queen! A bit partial to that one, B.” She reached up and held her blowfly hat still so one of her attending demons could scrub its wings with an old toothbrush. “But listen. Because I guess I owe you...IF a certain demon might wanna do something with an angel, y’got blanket permission from Hell-- and by that I mean from ME-- to _ do what you like _ so long as you don’t TELL anybody, got it? One catch tho. Gotta do it a little bit evil somehow, mmkay? Like I think nobody got wise to me cause I used blackmail on Gabby. Not that he needed so much arm-twisting.” She cackled as she kicked at her pedicurist for filing too hard.

“Gabby??!” Crowley pulled back from the phone, exchanging a disgusted look with Aziraphale. Still, he was beaming with her words. _ So there is a way. A little evil, eh… _

“Yes, and he’s about to give L a call and explain their rules. Don’t say I never did anything for you, B.” She looked around the room and hissed hurriedly, “Thanks,” before hanging up the phone.

_ Wait, is she - is this for- _ Aziraphale’s drunken brain was reeling from the implications, and he could only shake his head in shock as Crowley hung up the phone. “What on Earth is-”

Crowley gaped at the phone, “Well, I’ll be damned. He’s actually going to _ date _ the Lord of the Flies….”

Aziraphale stayed silent, eyebrows shooting up and casting Crowley a wondering glance. Before he could say a word, ‘_Mr. Blue Sky_’ rang out, and he nearly jumped out of his seat before fumbling his phone onto the table with a thump. Grimacing, he picked up, immediately putting it on speakerphone as he slurred, “Hullo?”

There was a pregnant pause before Gabriel’s disgusted, pompous voice came out of the speaker. “Are you- of _ course _ you’re drunk.”

“Gaaaaaaabriel, long time no hear!” Aziraphale forced a laugh, _ insanely _ curious to hear what the angel had to say now. “T’what do I owe this _ great honour_, that you’d call yer lowly probation-ee at this time’a night?”

“Can it, _ L_, Beelzebub told me you know about…” An uncomfortable cough sounded, and Gabriel continued, grimacing down at the screen he was looking at right that moment. “A certain set of pictures that _ don’t exist_. She also told me some _ very _ interesting tidbits about that conversation.”

Aziraphale tossed a smirk across the table at Crowley, willing the Herald to just get to the damn point.

“So here’s the deal, _ L. _ ” Gabriel moved along the row of surveillance arrays and began systematically scrambling all of the ones that showed London. “I know you are already unfortunately aware of our date this evening.” Pulling the phone away from his mouth, he set it aside, muttering about _ stupid meddling angels _ under his breath. When he picked it back up, “And I know you’ve got a _ thing _ for that… that _ brazen _ hussy of a temptation demon.”

_ Shit. _ Aziraphale’s expression immediately fell into one of shock, staring at Crowley and swallowing hard as he flushed. _ Well, looks like everything is all out in the open now. _

Crowley pretended to be offended, over-dramatically whispering too softly for the speaker to pick up, “Brazen hussy?” 

Another screen went dark as Gabriel continued, voice growing hard, “And _ normally_, I’d be hauling your feathered butt back up here over what you’re doing-” Satisfied that all the satellites had been taken offline, Gabriel moved back to the one the odd couple were featured on, scowling down at the screen. “- and _ yes_, I can see you being completely _ obvious_, you drunken sot… but hey… I’ve got a date tonight, so I’m feeling a little magnanimous.”

Crowley bit his lip and looked up at Aziraphale, blushing madly. He admitted they were both pretty damn obvious, but now Beezlebub and Gabriel both knew about their repressed crush. _ I guess we haven’t been exactly subtle. _

Aziraphale glanced upwards warily, pushing his messy hair out of his face. “Uhhhhh… you seem excited about a date… with _ Beelzebub _?” He grinned at that.

Gabriel gritted his teeth and forced himself to sound as pleasant as he could. “I’m blacking out our network over London for tonight. First things first, you are _ never _ to speak of those pictures that _ do not exist _ to _ anyone_, got it?”

Aziraphale’s mouth dropped open, every part of him tensing at the implications of what that _ meant_. “Uhhh-”

“Good. Second, you will not speak of this date that _ is not happening, _ to _ anyone. _ Are we clear?”

Exchanging an excited look with Crowley, Aziraphale gripped the edge of the table with suddenly trembling fingers. “I-”

Gabriel said briskly, “Because if you do, we’ll recall you from Earth. _ Permanently _ .” He smiled when Aziraphale stared down at the phone in shock. “ _ Good. _ I can see that you’ve got the idea. This never happened.” Without another word, he hung up, making the last screen go dark and leaving the monitor room.

Crowley whispered, “Holy shit….” That was it. They could _ really _ do something!! He hadn’t even let himself entertain this possibility seriously, and now that it really presented itself, his first instinct was to run away or freeze, worried he’d fuck it up somehow. _ Like demons are supposed to do, but I don’t want to mess this up_. But even through his drunken haze, he knew seducing an angel was _ exactly _ what he’d been made for. Everything would come natural, especially it being Aziraphale. He had to stop second-guessing himself and take the chance, because it may never happen again. 

“O-only tonight?” Crowley’s eyes were still locked on Aziraphale’s phone, and even though he logically knew Gabriel had hung up he yelled, “Well, how much bloody time do we have???” 

Aziraphale stared at Crowley with his mouth hanging half-open, his head reeling from the sudden knowledge that, _ yes _ , Crowley _ did _ think of him like that, _ and _ that they had permission to maybe _ do _ something about it. “I… suddenly don’t wanna be here, how bout _ you_, B?” Aziraphale’s breath caught at the way Crowley was looking at him, eyes glittering with amusement and longing as he waited for the confirmation. 

Crowley breathed for a moment before nodding. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Aziraphale grinned widely when the words he’d been hoping to hear _ finally _ came. _ Yes! _

Crowley hurriedly stood up and tossed a wad of money on the table without looking at it, more than enough to cover everything and tip the waiter generously. Grabbing Aziraphale’s hand, he walked briskly to the exit and jumped into his Bentley which was idling out front with the doors already open. 

Aziraphale couldn’t help but laugh at the demon’s excitement, thrilling in the feeling of cool fingers wrapped around his. In all honesty, he didn’t even know what was going to _ happen_, didn’t know what Beelzebub had _ meant _ by her comment that Crowley needed to make things ‘a little evil’ (or if that prospect was more worrisome or _ exciting _ ), but he _ did _ know one thing; he couldn’t do this drunk.

A long line of furiously honking traffic extended behind Crowley’s Bentley, and he waved dramatically, yelling, “Ayyyye SHUDDUP already!” All the horns on the street stopped working, making the drivers more irate AND now confused. He slid into the driver’s seat, closing his eyes a moment to drain all the alcohol from his body and into the street gutter. 

By the time they made it to the Bentley, Aziraphale was completely sober again, and he hurried around to the passenger side, heart pounding hard through his body and eyes locked on Crowley as he settled into the seat. 

Crowley muttered nervously. “If you...if you’re _ serious _...your place or mine?”

“Yours?” Aziraphale suggested hopefully, buckling his seatbelt. Normally, he wouldn’t bother, but he was two minor miracles down, and he knew there was no _ way _ Crowley was going to be doing the speed limit.

“Mine then.” Crowley exhaled hard as he shifted the car into gear, slamming on the gas and shooting down the street as fast as he could dodge cars. He was a bundle of nervous energy, wanting to look at Aziraphale but trying to keep his eyes on the road so he could get to his loft as quickly as he could. 

Once upon a time, Aziraphale would have scolded Crowley for driving so recklessly, but that time was _ long _ past. _ I don’t want to waste a moment, if I can help it, _ he thought, unable to look at anything _ but _ Crowley as the demon careened through suspiciously empty streets. “Did you pull a demonic miracle to make sure nothing stood in your way?” he laughed, incredulous and breathless, letting his gaze drift down to settle on Crowley’s hands. 

Crowley laughed low, “What good are all those London roundabouts if I can’t divert traffic into them? Who do you think put them there in the _ first _ place, angel?” Not that any of the demons had appreciated his traffic congestion plots, considering them only mild annoyances instead of anything truly evil. _ They’ve obviously never driven in Soho. _

Aziraphale laughed brightly, unable to even muster up any annoyance over that admission. _ Shit, but that is far more attractive than it SHOULD be. Should I…? _ He licked his lips, feeling a little _ brazen _ even _ without _ the alcohol to bolster him. “B? Were you- were you talking about wanting _ me _to… suck your dick?” he asked breathlessly, leaning close and stroking his fingers against Crowley’s thigh, lips curving up in an eager smile.

_ No time to waste, no time to-- _ “GAH!” Crowley _ did _ tear his gaze from the road to turn his glowing eyes to Aziraphale at the teasing remark, breathing out, “Oh fer fuck’s sake, you’re going to make me wreck the Bentley.” He swerved as he took a hard left, tensing under Aziraphale’s hand on his thigh. No mistaking THAT for platonic. He whined softly and stared forward, willing the car to go even faster before he got so flustered he turned into his snake form on accident. Mumbling, “But I certainly wouldn’t turn it _ down _ .” Now that he was sober, the full weight of his prior drunken words were sinking in, not that he regretted them _ now_. 

_ Oh dear! _ Aziraphale laughed delightedly. He hadn’t meant for _ that _ to happen. Still, it sent a thrill through him, and he leaned in to whisper _ right _ in Crowley’s ear, “Drive _ carefully_, dear.” Pulling back, he let out a loud exhale, fumbling the top buttons of his shirt open. It was already stiflingly hot, and they hadn’t even _ done _ anything. The urge to just climb into Crowley’s lap and kiss him hadn’t gone away, _ either_, when he’d sobered up. Breathlessly, “How are you supposed to follow Beelzebub’s terms if we both want it this _ badly _?”

Crowley hummed, because it was a good question how they were supposed to make the Hell side of this (namely Beezlebub) happy, but a bargain between demons had to be kept. “Uh...maybe you could pretend like you don’t want to and I could do my whole temptation schtick?” He had to laugh at how entirely unconvincing the charade would be, but it wasn’t like demons could tell the difference. They couldn’t imagine an angel ever wanting one of _ them_. 

Aziraphale sucked in a hissing breath, focusing on the demon’s words. _ I could… pretend, huh? _ The thought of being able to see Crowley’s _ temptations _ up close and personal sent a pleasant shiver through him; no matter _ how _ hard the demon tried, the demon had never been able to fully suppress his particular _ talents _ around him, and if Aziraphale had been _ thinking_, he might have just told Crowley outright that just being _ around _him was a constant temptation. 

Crowley went on, “Like maybe put up a show about how you’re not ‘sposed to, might get in trouble, that kind of thing. Not even sure anyone down there is watchin and we both know Beez is busy tonight. But can’t hurt to give it the old college try.” That made him snort, wondering hopefully whether they might even get this chance again if Gabriel’s date went well. 

“You really think that performance would _ work _ ?” Aziraphale asked softly, inching closer again. “I mean, I’m not sure how well I can pretend to _ not _ want you right now, but…” _ I can… try. _

The door to Crowley’s garage opened as they approached and he pulled inside. Crowley shut the car off before getting out and holding Aziraphale’s door open with a dramatic gesture. “So, whattya think, angel? Wanna try and resist a temptation demon? I promise to give it my best shot.” He grinned at Aziraphale, his fangs lengthening slightly in anticipation of the challenge. They both knew how things would end, but it might be a bit of a thrill for him to finally show Aziraphale _ this _ side of him.

As Crowley hopped out, opening his door, all Aziraphale could do was _ stare _ in wide-eyed arousal, unable to take his eyes off Crowley’s mouth… and those _ fangs_. A mental image of fangs trailing along his neck shivered through him, and he wondered what other _ temptations _ the demon might throw at him tonight. He reached a hand up for Crowley to take, silently urging the demon to do his worst as he tried to suppress a grin. “Oh… no, _ please _ don’t tempt me.” _ Ugh, please DO. _ A moment later, he was standing impossibly close to Crowley on slightly wobbly legs, close enough to smell the cologne the demon favoured, and it was making his head swim a little bit, voice breathless as he whispered, “I don’t know if I could handle it.” _ Shove me up against the wall like you did before, and you’ll see just how bad my ‘resistance’ is going to be. _

  
Crowley gave Aziraphale a seductive smile as he helped him out of the car, taking the angel’s hand and bringing it to his lips. “I’m sure you’ll put up a terrific fight, angel.” _ Dammit, I’m going purple again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale’s ringtone for Gabriel is Mr. Blue Sky by ELO: https://youtu.be/s7dTBoW5H9k


	4. Garden of Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley make the best use of their time while Heaven turns a blind eye, and a strange being starts to take an interest in the book shop.

Crowley winked and turned Aziraphale’s hand over, letting his forked tongue flicker briefly over the angel’s wrist before leading him inside. 

It didn’t seem possible to Aziraphale that Crowley could get even _ more _ appealing than he already was, but _ apparently _ he was wrong. His breath caught, speechless and dazed by the rush that flooded through him as he watched the intoxicating sight of that tongue dancing over his skin, not to mention how it _ felt_, and he let Crowley pull him into the loft without a fight. 

A wave of Crowley’s hand and soft lighting illuminated the loft, the decor somewhere between earthy minimalism and modern industrial. “Welcome to my humble abode.” An entire living wall of plants nestled in an artificial waterfall separated the living room and kitchen, the opposite wall was nothing but glass overlooking the London skyline. A few doorways led off the main room to an office, his plant room, and his bedroom and bath.

Stepping inside was almost like stepping back into the Garden-- _ almost- _ \- and Aziraphale gasped, taking in everything with a look of wonder on his face. He hadn’t expected Crowley to have so much _ green _ in his home away from Hell, but as the surprise wore off and he smiled, he couldn’t help saying, “This is _ lovely_.” Glancing at Crowley with a soft smile, “It suits you.”

While Aziraphale was looking around, Crowley walked from behind to embrace him, pressing his mouth to Aziraphale’s neck and lightly dragging his fangs there. A whisper, “I could look however you wanted, you know.” He licked up Aziraphale’s neck as his long nails dug into the fabric of the angel’s shirt, and he pressed his hips forward to let Aziraphale feel his excitement. “Whatever form you find most desirable, I can become that.” Aziraphale’s shirt and coat instantly disappeared, appearing neatly folded on the couch. 

Stepping up to the waterfall, Aziraphale was trailing his fingers in the cool, rushing water when he felt Crowley’s arms wrap around him from behind, letting out a soft, “_Ohhh_,” of surprise. Even just that light embrace, and the press of lips and teeth to the delicate skin of this body’s neck, was enough to send tingles cascading through him. “B-” he whispered, cutting himself off as Crowley spoke. _ You can… look how I want you to? _A low whimper left him as his body responded to the things Crowley was doing to him, pressing back against the demon and laying his hands over Crowley’s wrists, fingers tightening and lips parting with the rush of desire that was flooding his senses. The sudden absence of his shirt made him laugh in delight, only for him to gasp again at the new onslaught of sensation. “B!”

Crowley’s nails scratched gently down Aziraphale’s chest as he caressed the angel’s ear with his long tongue, curling around it briefly before he flipped Aziraphale around to face him. _ How long have I waited for this, to touch you like this? _Eyes burning bright as embers, “Tell me what you want, angel.” He encircled Aziraphale’s wrists and walked him slowly back to the window, flickering through attractive human forms both male and female. A famous movie actor, an Instagram personality, a pop starlet, a long-dead beautiful writer, and ultimately back to his own form. 

Aziraphale was more than a little dizzy when Crowley finally turned him around, and he gazed at the demon-- _ his _ demon-- in awe, finding himself speechless for a long moment as those beautiful, blazing eyes seared into him. _ I wish I had told you sooner how I felt _ , he thought, swallowing hard and struggling to get his mouth to work, to say something, _ anything, _ in response to Crowley’s suggestions. Would it be so difficult to speak up in his true form, or was it a limitation of this humanoid body? And as the demon backed him up, he couldn’t deny that every form Crowley offered to him _ was _ beautiful, appealing in its own right, but they weren’t what Aziraphale wanted. 

“Tell me _ who _ you want.” Crowley shoved Aziraphale up against the glass pane, pressing his body to Aziraphale’s and getting right in his face. His slitted eyes hovered to stare at Aziraphale’s mouth, and he dragged his gaze up slowly. “I can be your fantasy.” 

A low moan left Aziraphale as Crowley shoved him bodily against the window, wondering idly if the demon had seen that desire floating through his mind, before. Their faces were barely even inches apart, and all Aziraphale could see was _ Crowley_, all he could _ feel _ was Crowley, and this dizzying wave of _ want _ flooding through him. _ You already ARE my fantasy. Tell him. _

Darkness swirled around them both as Crowley’s black-feathered wings, all six of them, unfurled behind him. His true form was showing more with his arousal, or perhaps in response to L’s true wish — olive skin with glittering silvery snake tattoos, silky black hair that lengthened and floated around his head, obsidian horns that pushed back from his skull to sharp points and held a broken black halo. Even his voice had changed from the irreverent Cockney accent to an echoing, multilayered sound. “Or do you want me as I truly am?” 

Taking a deep, ragged breath, Aziraphale started to whisper, “B, _ you- _ ” only to cut himself off with a gasp as he looked the demon up and down slowly, taking it all in. He had never seen Crowley’s true form before, only seen glimpses, _ parts _ of it. “Oh my stars… you…” _ He is beautiful. _ Aziraphale could see a faint glow beginning to shine from Crowley, and he licked his lips as he looked the demon in the eyes again, only to abruptly realize that, _ no_, actually, the shimmer was coming from _ him_. 

Crowley marveled at the beautiful golden light shining from Aziraphale, the only being he’d ever truly desired. It wasn’t just Aziraphale’s angelic form, it was an inner beauty that Crowley had long admired and been attracted to. Kindness without judgement, care without cruelty, wit and intelligence without sarcasm or indictment. _ So different from what I remember of the farce of Heaven. _ Aziraphale was what angels _ should _ be in his eyes, even if it was considered imperfect or unconventional to the others. Aziraphale had empathy and mercy enough to understand something like _ him _, when everyone else would have considered Crowley trash to throw to the gutters of Hell. They had both eaten from the forbidden tree but it wasn’t base human knowledge, it was the knowledge of each other, of the conflict and hypocrisy that existed in absolutes and the comfort to be found in the grey between them. 

Crowley licked along his fangs, splaying his now-clawed fingers to pin Aziraphale’s wrists to the glass. He was holding nothing back, using his powers of temptation to plant filthy ideas in Aziraphale’s mind that no angel should have knowledge of, manipulating the angel’s body without touching it to feel a single, intense wave of pleasure. 

“B, you are _ stunning_,” Aziraphale finally said softly, flexing his fingers as Crowley pinned him in place, and arching against the demon with a hoarse cry as lustful images invaded his mind, making him shudder from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through him. He could feel his hold on this body weakening, unaware that it was already shimmering and ephemeral, the barest hint of wings unfolding behind him. “Oh, _ damn_.”

Crowley blushed at Aziraphale’s flattering words, having to break the angel’s gaze as he smiled in disbelief. “Really?” He smiled to see Aziraphale shudder, the transgressive nature of this turning him on just as much as finally being able to touch the person he’d loved for so long in secret.

Seeing Crowley’s disbelief made something ache in Aziraphale’s chest. _ Still so insecure, after all these millennia. _ It was a familiar ache, mingled sorrow and anger borne from hearing Crowley’s story of how he Fell, from observing the demon and coming to his _ own _ conclusions rather than blindly listening to what Heaven said about him. Sorrow over how everyone dismissed the demon as _ just like the rest _ , when Crowley had always had such an obvious (to _ his _ mind) soft spot for the innocents of the world. Anger over how _ anyone _ could look at Crowley and not see how much it chafed the demon that he had Fallen for no other reason than asking too many _ questions_. The ache faded away slightly as he regarded Crowley, his expression soft as he nodded in response to that painfully _ vulnerable _question.

“Beautiful enough to put your beloved stars to shame,” Aziraphale whispered, his smile so radiant now that he was sure he was going to attract unwanted attention from Crowley’s neighbors if he shone any brighter.

Crowley had always wanted to show Aziraphale what he truly was but had feared the angel would recoil from him. But Aziraphale wasn’t lying to him, and Crowley could see the truth behind his clear eyes that he meant it. “There’s nothing you can’t have from me.”

Panting, Aziraphale shook his hair from his eyes and looked into Crowley’s eyes, considering. _ There’s nothing I can’t have from you, is there? _ “You remember when you got in my face at the abbey?” he asked softly, mind swirling still with the images Crowley had put there. At Crowley’s nod, he let his gaze fall heavy to the demon’s mouth, a little surprised to hear his own voice wavering now between his human voice, and the echoing, almost metallic sound that was his true voice. “If we hadn’t been interrupted, I would have kissed you then.” _ But I can kiss you now_, he thought, surging forward and capturing Crowley’s lips, body tightening and fingers curling reflexively at the nearly electric sensation that was rolling through him at _ finally _ having his demon like this. He hoped Crowley _ could _ hear his thoughts, because everything in him was screaming, _ I want you just the way you are now_. He didn’t want those others, those facsimiles of beautiful humans. He wanted _ Crowley_. 

The feeling of Aziraphale’s lips against his was shocking at first and Crowley overanalyzed it in his panic, their softness, Aziraphale’s urgency, the way the angel’s mouth opened to invite him in. But only a heartbeat passed before he whined and leaned into the kiss passionately, releasing Aziraphale’s wrists and pulling the angel against him tightly. He murmured harshly between their kiss, “Fuck resisting. Been resisting 6000 years.” He hadn’t remembered making the rest of their clothes disappear but they were definitely gone.

As their lips met, Crowley’s initial lack of response surprised Aziraphale; surely, if Crowley had wanted this as much as _ he _ had, he would jump at the chance to get closer in every way they possibly could, right? The span of one heartbeat moved agonizingly slow, but Crowley finally responded in the most _ exquisite _ way, and Aziraphale let himself be tugged against his demon, wasting no time at all in wrapping his arms around Crowley’s neck. He chuckled into the kiss as he felt their clothes disappear, knowing it _ had _ to have been Crowley’s doing, fondly murmuring an echo of, “_Fuck _ resisting.”

Crowley had wanted Aziraphale for so long, chased the angel’s friendship over centuries in lieu of what he desired most just to get a little closer. Hadn’t Aziraphale always known? Known why he’d shown up as rescuer again and again, why he’d proposed they have an agreement to help with the other’s work, why Crowley had broken rules and performed miracles for him, why Crowley had always found an excuse to pop up uninvited and unannounced. It was only to be closer to Aziraphale.

Crowley’s long tongue was exploring Aziraphale’s mouth, stroking and spiraling around the angel’s tongue as they kissed, and he moaned as he felt hot flesh sliding against him. _ Oh fuck...I’m going to be even more damned for this. _ He hitched one of Aziraphale’s legs up around his waist, letting it hook over one of his lower wings, and willed the claws of one hand recede as he kneaded the angel’s backside. He didn’t care if Aziraphale took him or he took Aziraphale, there was literally _ nothing _ the angel could do to him he wouldn’t like. His fingers moved lower, teasing down the cleft of Aziraphale’s ass and tracing over the entrance that human males used for making love. He hadn’t even been sure Aziraphale would _ have _… the needed orifices, but he laughed in muffled delight that either Heaven was ironic or Aziraphale was willing. 

Aziraphale’s head was reeling as they moved against each other, Crowley’s hands kneading his flesh and _ that tongue _ stroking against his sending bursts of warmth and pleasure through him with every touch, every stroke. Heaven had always strongly discouraged its angels indulging in _ carnal pleasures _ , but nothing had ever felt so fundamentally _ right _ to Aziraphale as melting into Crowley’s arms; kissing him felt like coming _ home _ in a way Heaven never had. He broke the kiss with a gasp, his body shaking and shivering at the mere _ touch _ of Crowley’s fingers against his entrance. “B,” he moaned, feeling his physical human form wavering for a moment before stabilizing. Twining his fingers into the silky strands floating about Crowley’s head, Aziraphale pressed himself closer to B’s body and held his gaze as he whispered, “I need you, _ please_.”

Crowley picked Aziraphale up without breaking their kiss and flapped into the bedroom, laying Aziraphale down on his bed and finally pulling back to look down at him. He felt giddy, more excited than he ever had been in his long life, and Gabriel could go fuck himself but he was going to have Aziraphale all night and well into the morning. 

With another whimper, Aziraphale kissed Crowley again, more insistently, absolutely _ thrilled _ when Crowley picked him up and relocated them to the bedroom… and only a little disappointed when the demon broke the kiss.

“Tell me what you want me to do to you.” Crowley kissed Aziraphale again excitedly, both swirling darkness and piercing light haloing around them. “Or what you want to do to me.” He moved down Aziraphale’s body, licking and occasionally biting when he got carried away, but he healed the marks from his fangs instantly when that happened. He didn’t mean to be too rough, he wanted to make Aziraphale feel pleasure not pain. _ Unless he wants that. _He wanted to worship Aziraphale’s body like Crowley would never worship God, and their salvation wouldn’t be upon a cross but in this bed tonight. 

Aziraphale shook his head with a little laugh and drew Crowley close, hooking one leg around the back of Crowley’s thigh to press their bodies together as he stroked fingers through the demon’s hair. “What I want…” He melted into the kiss, voice breathless when Crowley pulled away, “Ohhh, B… I just-” A low cry left him at that first bite, a jolt of mixed pleasure and pain going through him as he writhed on the bed. “Oh _ please, _ just- don’t _ stop_.” He panted, eyes wide and glassy as he looked down at Crowley, marveling over how they had gotten here. He hadn’t thought he would ever be this _ blessed _. 

Crowley murmured against Aziraphale’s pale skin, “I’m not stopping for the whole damned world.” 

Voice awed and reverent, Aziraphale whispered, “Show me what _ you’ve _ always wanted to do.” _ And please show me how to love YOU. _ Another low moan left him as Crowley’s mouth continued down his body, every burst of pleasure causing him to shift subtly between this human body and his true form. Breathless, “_Take _me?”

Crowley’s wings were splayed out behind him, all effort at keeping a purely human form forgotten as he pushed Aziraphale’s legs apart and leaned down to lick a long slow stripe between his cheeks. One day when they had the luxury of teasing each other he’d do so, but tonight he didn’t hesitate to keep licking up and engulf Aziraphale’s cock, sucking deep and slow as his tongue coiled around it in his mouth. His clawed hands spread Aziraphale’s legs wider until his lips were at the base, and he looked up a moment to smirk around it before his tongue started squeezing and stroking, slow at first and then faster. He didn’t want to rush it, wanted Aziraphale to feel exactly how much Crowley loved and wanted to please him. 

Aziraphale opened his mouth to respond, but as Crowley licked up his body, his hands fisted in the sheets and what came out instead was a gasping “_Oh!_” He hadn’t been sure what to expect when he’d given Crowley carte blanche to do what he wanted, and _ this _ \- he had imagined many times being with the demon in many… _ carnal _ activities, and as he shuddered and moaned under Crowley’s mouth, all he could think was that this was _ everything _ he’d ever imagined it to be- no, it was _ better _ . Because he had never expected to ever experience _ this _ . And sure, if he _ just _ wanted to have sex, he could have always found some random angel and they could have filed for permission to do it. But that was… it was such a _ passionless _ way of doing things. And Aziraphale was nothing if he wasn’t self indulgent, seeking out food, drink, _ experiences _ just because it pleased him. _ This _ blew all of those other pleasures out of the water, and Aziraphale was riding high on the overwhelming sensations Crowley was wringing from his body.

Crowley knew exactly what he was doing, had millenia of experience, not that he’d tell the angel that, not that he wanted _ Aziraphale _ to know what awful things he’d had to do as a temptation demon out of obligation or frustration or boredom. But it had always been _ Aziraphale _ in his mind when he’d had to, and on many occasions he’d just left his human body completely, controlling it to finish the job while he browsed the newspaper. _ That _ would never happen with Aziraphale. 

He’d never been more present in any moment than he was right now, paying exquisite attention to what made Aziraphale’s heart speed, what made ichor engorge the flesh in his mouth, what made Aziraphale moan and writhe. He gave Aziraphale more, more, _ more _ of it, his hands roaming up the angel’s body to claw at him softly, or lift his hips to angle him even deeper into his throat with a low moan. This was blasphemy and corruption of the highest order, but it was also so pure and sacred. Neither were using the other, there was no pact or favor to be gained. It was just out of love and because they wanted to, had wanted to for so long.

It was becoming increasingly difficult for Aziraphale to hold on to his mortal form as his pleasure continued to build, and he could only writhe in Crowley’s grip when the demon took him even further into his mouth. Reaching weakly to grasp at Crowley’s shoulders, a whining moan fell from his lips, desperately wishing he could feel that tongue _ inside, oh please-! _

Crowley’s forked tongue split down the middle, one half keeping up his strokes on Aziraphale while the other plunged downwards to circle Aziraphale’s entrance. Crowley didn’t know whose miracle it was, but Aziraphale was already slick and tasted _ divine _, his tongue pushing in carefully and plunging deeper, probing until he found the spot that made Aziraphale gasp. 

Aziraphale felt his power flare unintentionally, but it wasn’t until he felt that exquisite tongue pressing into him that he realized what had happened, crying out in surprise and ecstasy, “_Aaaahhh_, B!”

Crowley hummed, yellow eyes half-lidded and glowing as he focused just on this, the overwhelming satisfaction of making the one he loved fall apart because of _ him_. _ And he really wants ME, not some illusion or fantasy. _ He would have given Aziraphale anything to be with him but it touched his heart deeply that for once, those temptations had failed and there was something in him worth loving, something in him that Aziraphale thought was beautiful and special. He hung onto that feeling tightly, only slightly startled to see an extra eye open on Aziraphale’s hip. That made him chuckle around Aziraphale’s length-- and he sent the thought to Aziraphale, _ Wanted to get a better view? How’s it look? _

For a moment, Aziraphale thought of telling Crowley to stop, to take him instead, but everything the demon was doing felt too _ incredible _ to stop it _ now _ , even for just a moment. He was already too close to losing control, could feel it slipping as the room brightened to a soft golden glow, as his wings manifested and nearly lifted him off the bed, as his awareness expanded and his mortal form finally began to shudder apart - and Crowley’s voice in his head only made him laugh breathlessly. _ I can see everything you’re doing, _ he thought, gazing down at Crowley raptly and stroking lengthening nails gently through the demon’s hair. Another shudder rippled through him as he cried out, sets of eyes appearing rapidly now, skin nearly translucent. When he finally spoke, it was his true voice quavering through the room, thready and on the edge, “You are a _ vision_. I could stay with you like this _ forever _ and never get tired of you.” Another spike of pleasure bowed his body, fingers tightening in Crowley’s hair, and he moaned desperately, “B, _ please- _”

Crowley watched in wonder at the effect _ he _ was having on the angel, it was so satisfying to finally be able to make Aziraphale feel like he’d always wanted to do, dreamed about for so long. He nearly lost his concentration to hear Aziraphale’s true voice, it seemed to pleasantly reverberate through him like a gong. It was so unbelievable to hear moans of ecstasy in that inhuman, beautiful voice, knowing that was never what it was permitted for, to be used for. But Crowley was making it happen despite all that, and what they were ‘designed’ for seemed trivial compared to what they were meant for. _ This, each other. _

He laughed softly around Aziraphale when he had to grip the angel’s hips and press him back to the bed, then he reached out to gently claw through the fluffy white wings manifesting. Crowley could see the angel fighting against losing his human form and thought, ‘_ No, let it happen.’ _ He stroked one hand up Aziraphale’s chest, avoiding the eyes that were emerging from all over the angel’s body. _ ‘Let me see the real you.’ _ There was no need for artifice anymore between them, not now when they were breaking every taboo together. The bright light emanating from Aziraphale would have usually made Crowley shield his sensitive eyes, but he couldn’t look away, didn’t want to. _ ‘You’re so beautiful like this…’ _

It was all Aziraphale could do to focus on that reverent voice in his head when everything else was so overwhelming, his need pressing against him like a second skin. “B,” he gasped, eyes squeezing shut for a moment and a shudder rippling through him at the gentle claws combing through his wings. For a moment, he hesitated-- he _ knew _ how sensitive the demon’s eyes were, and he didn’t want to _ blind _ Crowley, never wanted to harm him-- but the gentle urging from the demon finally won over, and he let go of control with a desperate sob.

Crowley’s own need was aching but he wanted to give Aziraphale what he wanted right _ now _ , especially when the angel was begging him for it. That made his eyes roll back to blackness, focusing every bit of his powers just on _ this _ \--- his tongue both working Aziraphale’s cock and licking inside him. _ ‘Hold on.’ _ He phased a hand into the angel’s shuddering, luminous form and pressed against this human-enough body’s prostate, sucking hard and tightening his tongue’s grip. Crowley had never seen an angel orgasm and didn’t know what to expect, but he wanted Aziraphale to come like the apocalypse and never forget this, in case they never had it again. He didn’t care whatever punishment awaited him after this, it was worth it.

As B phased his hand through his body, Aziraphale’s frail human form fell away to something far more luminous and powerful, his tail curling around the demon’s arm as he arched up into him with a scream, something caught between a lion’s roar and a bird of prey. His body spasmed, claws digging into the mattress and B’s shoulders with the force of his orgasm, and every eye opened wide as the light shining from him gathered instead at his wings and halo.

Crowley moaned too as Aziraphale screamed, feeling an echo of the angel’s emotions and pleasure as their auras merged for a moment. He shuddered under the claws piercing his skin, that too was something akin to ecstasy to a demon who made little differentiation between pleasure and pain. _ YES…. _ If it hadn’t been for the miracle he silently recited in his mind, Crowley would have come when Aziraphale did, but this was too precious of a sight to waste on himself so he held back. _ And I want to be inside you more than ever now. _He swallowed and milked everything out of Aziraphale with his coiled tongue, only stopping when the angel relaxed into a heap of wings and limbs on the shredded mattress.

The pleasure rushing through him in waves finally tapered off after what felt like forever, and the angel collapsed bonelessly into the mattress, turning every awed, grey eye down to the demon, hoping he hadn’t frightened or hurt Crowley too badly. “That was… _ incredible _,” Aziraphale whispered, hands gentle now as he traced claws lightly over the wounds on Crowley’s shoulders, closing them up with a thought before stroking carefully into his wings.

Crowley gently retracted his hand and tongue, eyes going from black to yellow again as he blinked up at Aziraphale in amazement. “You...you _ changed _.” He had never seen Aziraphale’s true angel form before but it was more beautiful than he could have imagined, and he stared as he sat up, idly stroking the tail curled around his arm.

Panting, Aziraphale’s voice rumbled through the room, amused and awed. “You _ asked _ me to. I’m…” He had been about to apologize for scaring him, but his voice trailed off; it was quite apparent that Crowley wasn’t frightened by him. His wide eyed gaze followed Crowley as the demon sat upright, nearly purring in contentment at the way his tail was being stroked. “That feels… very good,” he whispered, eyes shining happily and smiling, reaching to cup Crowley’s cheeks gently.

Quietly, “It’s been so long since I’ve really _ seen _ an angel. I forgot…” Crowley was at a loss for words because there was nothing to describe how he felt. Like he’d been slotted into a puzzle he didn’t even realize he’d been missing from, or just remembered a long-forgotten dream. 

It had been a _ very _ long time since anyone had looked upon Aziraphale like this, since anyone had reacted to his true form with such awe and… and never with such _ love _ in their eyes, and he could barely find the words to speak. 

“_You’re _ incredible.” Crowley crawled up Aziraphale’s changed body to kiss him, his own lust only more inflamed by what they’d just done and how Aziraphale looked now. He whined as his hips pressed against Aziraphale’s, feeling the miracle he’d used before waning as he kissed Aziraphale almost savagely. He was panting as he pushed his arms beneath Aziraphale to hold him closer, growling desperately, “I need you. Need to be _ one _ with you.” 

As Crowley kissed him, Aziraphale gave up trying to put how he felt into words. He gasped into the kiss, his body reacting almost _ immediately _ to the demon’s need as he slid one hand into Crowley’s hair, the other hand moving to cradle his jaw.

Aziraphale had asked Crowley to take him before and he hoped the angel didn’t mind the detour as he pressed himself slowly inside. The tight, indescribable sensation made him gasp sharply, accidentally sinking his teeth into Aziraphale’s neck with a multi-tonal moan of pleasure. He pulled back and licked the wound to heal it, meeting the angel’s mouth as he started to move slowly at first. He was quite a bit bigger than his tongue had been, and although he could change to perfectly fit Aziraphale’s body, he knew Aziraphale would need to get used to the sensation. _ ‘Do you feel how I’ve always loved you? Did you always know?’ _His thoughts couldn’t be kept from the angel anymore as they truly merged, but there wasn’t anything worth hiding.

When Crowley pressed inside of Aziraphale, his rumbling moan of arousal reverberated through them both, his aura mingling with the demon’s to relay his thoughts and emotions directly. _ ‘Don’t stop, my love!’ _ Another moan left him with that bite, and his head dropped back to the pillow, aura flickering with love and wonder, his strong arms encircling the demon’s torso now and stroking up and down his back. _ ‘I feel you. I feel everything.’ _

Aziraphale’s eyes squeezed shut, wrapping the demon up in not only his embrace, but caccooning him in his wings and his aura, letting the depth of his _ own _ love for the demon sink into him. _ ‘Do you feel how much I have always cherished YOU? You are precious to me.’ _

To the best of his recollection-- and like all angels fallen or otherwise, Crowley had a perfect memory-- there had only been three times in his long life he had cried and none had been in the presence of others. The first was when he realized he’d been well and truly cast out of Heaven, cursed and thrown out like trash to Hell for asking questions, having doubts. The second was the night after he’d witnessed the Flood sweep all of humanity away, the potential of a million children wasted to create the ‘blank slate’ needed for the so-called Great Plan. The third was inside Aziraphale’s bookshop as it burned away a lifetime of written treasures as well as the treasure of Crowley’s life- Aziraphale- or so he thought. 

But he’d have to add one more to the list, and the first in front of anyone. Crying had always meant pain to him, but this was completely different and unexpected as he felt Aziraphale’s thoughts. Tears of happiness and relief were streaming down Crowley’s face as he lost himself in their joined auras and mutual love.

Even Aziraphale’s thoughts seized on him for a moment as the full _ weight _ of Crowley’s love and devotion sank in, tears springing to his eyes. _ ‘Oh Crowley… I had no idea.’ _

‘_I didn’t know that was possible for demons to feel joy.’ _Crowley knew it wasn’t supposed to be that way, part of his curse was ever-present misery even if he made the best of things with wry humor and sardonic style. It was Aziraphale’s proximity, his aura and power that let Crowley feel pure happiness for the first time since he Fell, and that was as overpowering as the sensations shooting through his body with every increasingly desperate thrust. He couldn’t help but break the kiss long enough to express that joy in a laugh, eyes shining brightly with tears before their mouths found each other again. 

Aziraphale smiled into the kiss, unable to tell which tears were his and which were Crowley’s. At this point, it didn’t even _ matter _ ; every nerve and every sense was on _ fire _ with both power and awareness, and he had never felt more alive than he did in this moment. _ ‘Maybe it isn’t. But I didn’t think it was possible for angels to feel like this, either.’ _ He couldn’t be entirely sure what was happening to their energy, but it crackled through him as he gasped against Crowley’s neck, fisting his fingers in the demon’s hair and seeking out his mouth hungrily. A muffled cry left him as Crowley moved more quickly inside of him now, body tightening in response to the demon’s quickening need. Laughing, he instinctively squeezed around Crowley, urging him gently to ‘_let go, Crowley. I want you to feel incredible, too._’

Crowley’s swirling darkness wasn’t fighting against Aziraphale’s golden light, but combining to create something new-- a silver-blue electricity streaking the air around them. Whether this would change them both forever, he didn’t know. He only knew it felt different and _ right _, and Aziraphale’s pleasure became his and vice versa. Two of his wings wrapped beneath Aziraphale to envelope him, the other four unconsciously lifting them both off the bed and hovering above it weightlessly. He shuddered as Aziraphale encouraged him to let go, breaking the kiss to gasp, “L!!” as his back arched and he released 6000 years worth of longing with a demonic howl, sending papers swirling in a vortex around them, plants’ leaves quivering, the crystal in the kitchen clinking as the whole building shook like an earthquake. 

Another ragged moan left Aziraphale at the sensation of being enveloped in Crowley’s wings, sending a frenzied burst of pleasure through him at the changed angle, and Aziraphale’s fingers tightened against the demon’s back, claws digging in again and squeezing his legs tightly around Crowley’s waist as they lifted off the bed. Crowley broke the kiss again as they reached their peak, and Aziraphale didn’t even _ think _ , just pressed his mouth to the demon’s throat, biting down when he heard his name and following the demon over the edge with another scream. That first orgasm had been far beyond anything he had experienced on his own; _ this _ one shook him to his very _ being _, his power mixing with Crowley’s unintentionally.

Crowley was panting hard as they floated back down to the bed, wings still enmeshed. He laid his cheek on Aziraphale’s chest and felt pure contentment for the first time in..._ no, just for the first time. _ After a moment he looked up to the angel and smiled, turning his face to kiss the clawed hand that cupped his cheek. 

As the vortex died down, Aziraphale let out a shuddering breath, letting Crowley set them back down on the bed. He was shaking too much to be able to pay attention to anything but his tingling extremities, and how Crowley’s weight on him helped to ground him and bring him back to himself. That sweet kiss to his hand brought a brilliant smile to his face, and he stroked his thumb across Crowley’s bottom lip, still feeling everything the demon- _ my demon _\- was feeling.

“I don’t know why you love me, but I thank God you do.” It was the first praise of God Crowley had meant since he Fell, but if She had created Aziraphale, then perhaps there was something to this ineffable plan after all. 

“I love you because you are a wonder.” Every eye was closed in pure contentment after _ that _ , every set except one, and those were similarly heavy as Aziraphale gazed into Crowley’s eyes. “I love you because you are passion incarnate, and all that entails. The bad _ and _ the good.” 

Crowley’s snake eyes were half-lidded in the afterglow and even a miracle couldn’t have wiped the stupid lovestruck look of his face as he shifted to kiss the angel gently. “Now that I’ve had you, I pity whoever tells me I can’t again.” He laughed softly, looking down at the shredded bed and using a minor miracle to put it back together. “Good thing I don’t have a waterbed, hmm? And I thought _ my _ claws were dangerous.” Crowley grinned as he lifted Aziraphale’s hand to his lips and kissed each claw, giving the last one a playful bite. _ ‘Hey, I’m still a demon.’ _

Aziraphale accepted the kiss happily, fingers sliding to rest gently at the nape of Crowley’s neck, and he smiled to hear those soft words. “No-one will keep us apart anymore,” he promised softly, laughing. For a moment, he was torn between staying as they were and returning to his mortal form, but he was glad for the hesitation when Crowley began pressing kisses to his clawed hand. Breath catching, he laughed again. “I _ would _ apologize for shredding your mattress, but you don’t seem to mind. I love you, my demon.” 

“No...I don’t mind. I love you.” Crowley sighed as he stroked through Aziraphale’s hair, admiring the changed face as much as the one he’d always known. “I’ve loved you so long I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve said it. I’ve said it a million times in my mind.” He laid his head back down on Aziraphale’s chest, unwilling or unable to let go quite yet.

**\---Meanwhile, in an abandoned shogun’s house, circa 1600 AD, Japan---**

Lux paced around the empty residence of Ieyasu Tokugawa, irritated that he was having to wait on his messenger. He brushed some broken pottery from a high-backed chair and sat down, thrumming his fingers as he idly drew prophetic runes in the air with a golden nail. 

A shadow emerged from the corner and slinked closer, “You called…”

“Finally.” Lux waved a hand and all the glowing runes vanished. “I have a task for you.” He reached into his luminous angel’s robes to produce a perfectly succulent apple from Earth, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he saw how the demon salivated for it.

The demon whined when the apple was pulled away from his reaching talons. “What is it I should do, Light-o?”

“I _ told _ you not to call me that.” Lux waved a hand again, showing a shimmering image of an ordinary-looking book shop in London. “After all these years, I found it. _ No _ thanks to you. But you might be of some help now, if you’re willing.” _ And hungry_.

The demon cringed at the angel’s words and peered at the portal’s image, reading the sign. “A.Z. Fell and Co, eh? Why haven’t we found it before then?”

Lux frowned, “Seems it’s been hidden away by a rather naughty angel, that same one that was involved in averting the Apocalypse.” If Aziraphale hadn’t summoned Metatron in his bookstore, which Lux had dropped everything to observe _ who _ was calling on the Voice of God, he may never have noticed the glassed-in case holding a very particular black book. “Somehow it’s been shielded from my detection. By heavenly locks or protections I’d guess. That’s why I need you to go down there and get him to open it up. See if you can buy it.”

“Buy it?!” The demon hissed at that, scratching at his long black neck. “Don’t got any money.”

Lux rolled his eyes and pointed a finger at the demon, who shifted into a human form in possession of a fat wallet containing cash, multiple credit cards, a checkbook. “Now you do.”

The demon cackled as he looked over his new form, pulling out the wallet and thumbing through it. “Oooo, bet I could buy a lot of apples with this.”

Lux grinned, “Go ahead and try.” That money would turn to ash the moment it was used to buy anything but a certain book. He slid down from the chair, brushing the dust off his robes. 

The demon thrust the wallet back in his pants. “What if he won’t sell it to me?”

“It’s a book_ store_. He’s supposed to sell things.” Lux sighed though, because this angel wasn’t just a vendor of tomes, he was also a collector. “If he won’t, or if you’re recognized, leave at once and meet me back here. But get a good look at those locks if he won’t open it.” _ I need to know what I’m dealing with. _

The demon nodded, reaching again for the apple. “Uh, one for the road?” He let out a cheer when Lux tossed it to him, eyes glowing as he took the first nibble. “Ugh...alright, I’ll let you know soon.” He touched a ring on his hand and a swirling portal opened in a rice-paper divider, taking another quick bite before stepping through it. "Later _Lux_."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale’s true voice sounds like the vocal scrambler L uses in the Death Note anime: https://youtu.be/1f0pPo9kPN0?t=319 
> 
> We hope you enjoyed the story, and apologies for the cliffhanger on Light and Ryuk. We are currently busy with other projects but may add to this in a new fic in the series at some point. We had a lot of fun writing this!

**Author's Note:**

> Check us out on tumblr:  
ZJ: [ Kiranatrix](https://kiranatrix.tumblr.com/)  
Ghost: [ GhostofTasslehoff](https://ghostoftasselhoff.tumblr.com/)


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